if i dont think about it, maybe it wont happen

so, much as im loathe to say it, i leave denmark tomorrow.
i simply cannot believe that 3 weeks has gone by already.
words cannot express how sad i am that its all done for this round, im really in a funk about it.
im being a bad friend right now actually.  everyone is at the new shop getting it ready for opening day tomorrow, and i am here at home (home!!!) reorganizing my suitcases so that they dont go over-weight and just generally feeling sorry for myself. 
i really do not want to leave.

this has been a totally different experience from my last trip in summer 2006.
that was an in/out 3 days extravaganza that was mostly tours and museums.
this was... living.

i could not have done it without amalie and allan.  not for 2 seconds.
truly two of the greatest people ive met in a long time.
not only have they been great and fun friends both online and in person at conventions, but they opened up their home to me and treated me like a roommate.
that has been a major part of my loving being here.  just feeling like i belong.
im going to miss them so much when i get back home.

the apartment itself is just cozy and inviting.  the way my home used to be before i got rid of all my retro and collectable things.  thinking i was somehow 'growing up' or 'maturing' or some crap like that.
like i cant just have a bunch of shit in my house!
clearly i could and i can again.  this place is amazing!

im going to miss my bread and cheese meals.
im going to miss lucifer swimming on the couch.
star trek tng is just never going to be the same anywhere else..

im already looking at my next trip here, and turning the wheels faster to figure out how to move.
it seems so easy in a thought, but there is so much to account for.  sigh.

i have a meeting tomorrow morning with a games studio here in town, but that is just to meet and get aquainted with my skillset.  not job openings right now.
but that could pay off!  keep your fingers crossed that it does.
so with that going on, tomorrow will be crazy.
meeting in the morning, run back home, head to bus station?
i hope there is more time than that, but i should be at the airport for 1230-1 at the latest.
so yeah, its going to be a tight day.   boo.

externally, i probably look like a lump right now.  passive blank face.  just sitting here looking vacant.
internally im having a total heart breaking temper tantrum.  sadly, i will still get on that plane tomorrow.

im sure amsterdam will be fun, but my heart will be here.
then its home to try and get back into the swing of my life there, and figure some things out.

at least i have a ton of new shoes to run around in....

feb 5

all better today. i totally sweat it out last night.

one more day of work tomorrow. i think it will be the most stressful day yet.
knowing that its my last day to get some big things done, cause i cant put them off any longer, making sure that everyone is up to date on what they need to be, and also getting some personal things done, like depositing money into my account, buying euros for my 6 hour stop over in the amsterdam airport, and unlocking my blackberry so i can get a pay as you go sim card in denmark.

christine got her yesterday and we hung out this evening. well, we did last evening too, as she is staying at my house, but last night we were both really tired by the time she got here.
today after work i went to meet her at sacred heart downtown where our friend steph is doing a guest spot while in town for basically the entire time i am gone. awesome.
so said hello steph, made plans for the three of us to go out for some sushi on saturday, and then we went for.... sushi. cant get enough.

we found this place across the street called sushi star, and thought it would be a regular hole in the wall sushi joint like you find all over vancouver. turned out to be a super cute fancy affordable place with awesome staff.
i decided to deviate from the norm and order some special rolls instead of the regulars (avacado roll, tempure yam...) but i was not prepared for how massive they were!
worst part is i thought about taking pictures and didnt. guess im not taking enough notes amalie, sorry. but so good anyways.

the rest of the night has been chilling at home, trying on shoes, packing a bit more and hanging out with christine.

bed time now. have to get up early and mentally prepare for a crazy day.

then its drinking time with the boys after work.

then. its saturday. go time.
make my suitcase pretty. make sure my liquids are packed nicely.
make sure i havent forgotten anything.
airport!
hmmm, i should remember to print out my itinerary/ticket tomorrow.... *sends self email at work*

ok! night!

feb 3

so, im getting sick. this is not good.
im supposed to go on vacation and have a merry time! (which i will anyways, but who wants to be sick while doing this?? im pretty sure no one...)
sore throat.. my sinuses are starting to plug up.. ive been drinking orange juice since i woke up around 4 am.
ill drug myself today and hope to chase it out. no sickness!

its going to be a long day due to my being up early as well.
maybe i can leave early.
i do have a massage appointment at 2... oh i cant wait for that.
maybe ill go home afterwards.

3 more days of work. i dont know if i can handle it.
i cant wait for some time to figure my life out. again. yahoo.

oh! and my camera came yesterday!
but the memory card it came with was broken, so hopefully that comes today.
fancy picture taking here i come!

and christine comes tonight as well.
she'll be staying with me until i leave, and then staying in my place while im gone away.

and that. is all i have to report. better go get ready for the gym.
i need to go, but maybe being sick i shouldnt?
i never know what i *should* do, but i know what my inner lazy bastard wants to do.
but that wont help me feel better for work. going back to sleep at this point will make me a zombie all day. ho hum.

feb 1

ok i really dont like these date headings... boo.

i think that my dark mood from yesterday has lifted.
actually, i know it has.
it was still with me this morning, but instead of dwelling in it, i started to think about where it ws coming from and what i was really upset about and why i was letting it get to me like that.
i think its just another sign that i need some time away from home and my usual life here.

some time to reflect, to do whatever i want (nothing) for a while, to just think it all over.
and to experience some new stuff!

four more days of work. im doing my best to get through.
ive all but completely checked out, and im trying to care. for the team.
i just cant wait for it to all be done with.
120 hours til my flight leaves. is that bad that ive started counting hours already?
if it is, i dont care, im doing it anyways.

i should be packing right now. yes, still. no, i havent started.
/sigh
but i have the suitcase! at least there is that.
i may try to make a pile of clothes today that i can pack, ones that i wont wear for the rest of the week? kinda hard really... i mean, im going for a month! i can wear alot in a month...

how cold is cold? i can see on the weather network that its around -5C. not too bad.. could be better, but hey, im from alberta. it can sure be a hell of a lot worse..
i guess ill see what all i can fit in this big ol suitcase i was lent, and then see how much it all weighs.

and shoes! how many shoes does a girl bring for four weeks away from home?
i cant wear snow boots all the damn time. am i going to go somewhere where i can wear fun shoes? amalie seems to get to... hmmmmmmmm
maybe i really should have started this a while ago..

jan 31

wow. january is at an end already.
where did it go?

at least it means i have 6 days until i take off for denmark!
i should really start packing..

christine is coming on the 3rd to stay in my apartment while im gone.
i really need to clean before she comes.
im just so lazy... better snap out of it.

this weekend was interesting.
i had a friend open his mouth about something that really wasnt any of his business, to another friend.
which has now taken our silently and acceptably precarious relationship, to an potentially uncomfortable one.
we'll see tomorrow at work.
vague much?

its been rainy and yuck the last few days.
pretty vancouvery really..

5 more days of work and then relaxing time.
it will be hard to stay focused this week for sure. le sigh.

debating on picking up either a panasonic gf-1 or a canon rebel t1i.
maybe ill go with the canon, i cant decide yet.

im also thinking about a nintendo ds.
cause you know, i have money to burn?
who do i think i am? ah well, need something to do on the flight other than sleep and read i guess...

my horoscope for february in the ever dependable flare magazine (pinacle of todays society, i know) said that a temporary fling - or vacation romance (!!) - could turn into something with a longer shelf life than anticipated.
start lining them up amalie =D

jan 28

still no luck with the date thing.
maybe this little lady can help me out when im staying with her for 3 weeks.
i only have to hold for another 10 days!!!

so until then, manual dates.
and weekly blogs apparently.

work has been nuts.
i am quickly running out of time to get shit together.
a list has been made, but no packing done.
i dont even get my suitcase until the weekend.
ho hum.
maybe i should make a pile.. or start to anyways..

what do i need to bring?
apparently there is snow, so warm stuff.
but cute stuff too!
i hope its a big suitcase.. (borrowing from a friend so i have no idea)

ive been watching the wire finally, after many have told me how great it is.
i started season 2 last night and am 3 episodes in so far.
10 days to watch the rest. i can do this!
season 3 awaits me in denmark and i have to be ready!

i am starting to get excited about going too.
finally right?
its just been so busy that i dont have much time to think about it.
probably for the best...
also, usually when i travel, my days are action packed with things to do and places to go.
this time, i have 3 weeks in copenhagen with no plans.
so great.
my good friend sarah is going to come and see me there for 5 days which will rule hard.
also, this chicky will be in town for a few days too! fun times!

i cant wait to just be done work already.
lots of possibilities for new work when i am back.
in a new company even.
but no details, so thats all you get.

oh, did i mention i got a new nerdy tattoo over the christmas break?
way to keep you informed right?
well, you'll see soon enough.
i know you danes will be impressed!!

jan 20

where does time go? i get a little busy and almost two weeks go by!

lets see.. what went on...
well, i worked alot. and that, in itself, wasnt very exciting at all.

last weekend i went to seattle to watch a warhammer tournament.
yes, the board game.
it was super nerdy and super fun.
but very tiring too, somehow.... standing there watching really takes its toll.
and for some reason i took zero pictures.
i have no good excuse.

this week is more work.
i should be getting excited for my trip, as i leave in 2.5 weeks, but im so busy that i havent gotten there yet.
must work on that.
maybe if i make a list of things i should pack it will spark it off?
hrmmmm..

tonight, i am feeling very emotional.
or maybe sensitive is a better word.

ive been trying to help a friend get an electric piano for his brother, when he comes to visit.
so tonight, i was following up.
he was asking me odd questions, and i couldnt get the number of the girl who was going to lend it to me.
turns out they were all together and taking the piss.
im just really annoyed. should i be?
i dont know if im being irrational here, but my feelings are quite hurt.

the way i see it, im taking time from my personal life, to help out with something that makes zero difference to me if it happens or not.
and they are being dicks.
i am not impressed at all.

maybe im feeling all butthurt that i didnt get invited out?
i dont know.
but boo to this feeling.
its not even pms! arg.


anywho, enough wimpering.
im going to go to bed now.
exciting times i tell ya.
two more days this week. then its only 2 weeks til blast off.

must watch more wire too. ive only gotten 3 episodes down so far.
i have alot of work to do!

jan 9?

i dont even know what the date is anymore, thats how crazy this week has been.

also, i dont know how to make the date appear above my posts like amalie's blog.. and ive looked! i swear... maybe im blind but i cant seem to get it..

the week is almost done. i have to work today to make sure the movers get everyones stuff to their new desks properly. yes, even though they are 'professional' movers, they are monkeys and fuck shit up all the time. so, yay for saturday.

been planning more of my trip to europe, but man, i seem to have no time.
im hoping once this big move is done with, i can focus some more.
i keep getting asked if im getting excited to go, and i am, but not like i think i should be.
i have no time! and that sucks... but its 4 weeks today! oh man..

been hitting the gym the last few days, and that is feeling pretty good.
im also not drinking for january. i started to get out of control towards the end of last year, and i need to dry out a bit.
along with that, im trying to cut back on my dairy, sugar and salt intake, though i failed miserabley with that last night, as my friend Jen came over and we snacked alot.
ah well, sometimes its needed to lift heavy spirits, right?

so far this years blogging has been devoid of pictures.
and that is going to continue into todays.. i dont have many pictures to share right now.
ill try find some from over the christmas break.

until then, have a great day! im off to work...
at least there is paid overtime...

jan 7

time flies when youre stressed to the max.
this first week back at work has been hell, as im sure it is for many people.

the last two days of my vacation were nice and relaxing.
i only got out of my pyjamas to go and see sherlock holmes.
sunday i didnt even leave the house. infact, that was the day that it occured to me that i could really get used to rolling out bed when i felt like it and just sitting around all day figuring out what to do.
in other words, i could be on vacation all the time.
now to figure out how to get paid to do that...

first day back at work was slow, as most of the studio wasnt in until tuesday, but come tuesday, man oh man. what a shit show.
i have to move my team down a floor and the logistics that go into planning are definitely enough to give me grey hair. or at least get me to drink this month. yeesh.
im not sleeping well because of it, but only two more days and its done.
i think that the worst of it ended yesterday. i *think*....

ill be in at work on saturday as well, to make sure the move goes smoothly.
yay? not.. the only good thing about that is that i get paid overtime and that i have no excuse to not go to the gym that day as well..

im also really stressed about my job in general.
i feel very stuck right now, and unappreciated in the way that i can do so much for and i feel that no one takes me seriously.
i know i am greatly appreciated for what i do do for them, so i cant say that im ignored.
for the most part they have been good to me, but i want to do more, and im frustrated beyond belief at being told to 'keep doing the great job' im doing, and in SIX MONTHS they'll do a reassessment of cost of living and the like.
ive been doing this 'great job' for two years now, and no raise.
what on earth is my motivation really, to keep doing it.. for the promise that they will look into it? but no promise of any changes??
i want out. i love the team so much, but i want out.
boo.

and on that happy skippy note, im going to head to work and hit the gym.

its jan 7 today, and on feb 7 ill be landing in copenhagen.
holy crap, i simply cannot wait..

doot doot doot

well my day was a bit better.
productive one might say. stressful, others might..

i may have had more to say, but i started drinking when i was home from laundry.
so now im a little.. drunk.
gin and juice!

i cant wait for this week to be done.

some inspiring conversations from todays public


~in grocery store~
me: i dont need a bag thanks.
checkout girl: you have your own?

... no im going to carry all this in my hands...
(it was more than an armful)



~in laundromat, taking clothes out of big side loading dryer~
*lights go out*
me:ummm, can you turn the lights back on so i can get my stuff out of the dryer?
laundromat guy: we're closed


... yeah i gathered that... but i want to get my shit....


honestly people!!!

give credit where credit is due

today started out good, but then got bad at the end.

im tired of busting my ass for a company that seems to only be able to give verbal acknowledgement.
dont get me wrong, i do enjoy actually hearing that my work is appreciated, and its nice that some people are willing to vocalize that, but i cant pay off my debt with praises.
ive been at the company for over a year and a half, worked my ass off, and no sign of a raise or extra time off or anything.
i am the one that has to go out and buy all the gifts and rewards for people that work hard, so i see what everyone gets.
and no, im not being jealous or greedy. i dont need to be matched. but i would like is some fairness.
these guys get paid heaps more than i do, and yet, they go for the lunches at nice places on the company card, and take weeks off at a time, and get all these kick backs, and i get paid over time.

oh, they are making it so i never have to work over time anymore, so there goes that perk.

i had someone have a big fit today and try to tell my manager that i dont do my job, because two things fell through the cracks. of the hundreds that i do every week!
its only because this person doesnt work close by me to see what i do, so they only know what they make up in their head i guess.
this person also made a show about a month ago about wanting to get to know me more cause we dont get to work close together.
guess what, this isnt the way to do it.

instead, this has further crushed my spirit.
made me that much more despondent to what is going on at work.

trouble is, am i running away from my problems?
is a fresh start really that, or is it hiding?

i am becoming more and more introspective the further this goes.
and depressed. there is a little of that going on.
maybe more than a little.
but when is the corey time?
i dont even know.

i was at work for 12 hours today, and i bet it doesnt make a lick of difference to this person.

i should add that my manager does know how hard i work and is backing me under this attack and is trying to difuse this person. but that doesnt make it hurt any less.

i dont want to be under-apprecaited anymore.


welcome to my emo blog.

monday-ne

today wasnt a monday-ish as it could have been.
i think work can get better with sarah helping out.
she is so great and im so happy to have her as part of the team.

i still love my job, but my spirit is broken.
maybe that can get better?

good news for the day: i have heat!
glorious glorious heat.
*inside* my apartment no less.

now i just need my arm to stop being all tight and itchy and hurty.
i may have to drug myself to sleep tonight, otherwise ill be up all night when i move my arm.
(did i mention i had a crap sleep last night? well i did)

its after 10 pm
normally id be going to bed now cause i have a circuit training (read:torture) class at 730 in the morning on tues and thurs, but with my arm in healy mode, im skipping it tomorrow.
i should go to bed soon though anyways.
after i dry my hair.

the dishes can wait until tomorrow.

from PAX in seattle a few weeks ago
graham/mario, the amazing wil wheaton and yours truly

island time

Tgif
Seriously

I am on the ferry right now, waiting to depart for nanaimo, where my brother and fam will pick me up and whisk me off to courtenay.

(Disclaimer (for those that pay attenetiony) my blackberry automatically capitalizes at the start of sentences and its a pain to correct every time. So there ya go, otherwise it wouldn't happen. Just trying out this blackberry mobile oposting deal. Might strengthen my drive to get an iphone or blackberry for myself, as this is works. But I digress..)

Its been a long and stressful week at work. They all seem to be that way these days.. Two more weeks in my crap apartment.. Ugh! I need a vacation. So while it will be good to see the fam and fabulously adorable Emmett (ok he gets capitalization cause he is my fav), this will be stressful in its own way. Most times I want to strangle my sister-in-law. We'll see how it goes.

Now that I have survived the full bus ride to the ferry terminal, full of stupid hippies, I am now stowed away in a nice seat away from most people. I love corners. I can sit back and enjoy this ride with my music and cheezies, the official snack of ferry riding. (As per me, as its been that way all my life)

And now, to see if I can add a picture..

epic weekend #1

so, a week ago we had a long weekend.
and i had a rad long weekend.
first rad weekend in a long time and im still super stoked about it!

but first, i was made RFT last week!
well, technically, it started this week, but now im permanent!
this means that i dont have to stress about contracts running out and needing to find a new job before i have enough money to do certain things.
like move.
talk about a stress relief!
we went for lunch to celebrate, and manu ordered me a double hendricks and tonic.
for lunch!
yikes..

manu and i

friday was our last beer and cake at the downtown location for our office.
beer and cheer happens every friday. we have free beer and cheesecake.
until it all runs out.
so it was a big party, being the last one and all.

adam and i

miss amie!
pterodactyls!!

janna and i and a tribble!

afterwards, i went out for some kareoke with some of the audio peeps.
no need to explain there. kareoke always rules.


saturday was just pure epic.
8 hours in a theatre watching star trek related things.
i heart star trek. hard.
more than star wars. there, i said it.
we watched animated episodes, rap battles and poetry.
then wrath of khan (second trek movie) and THEN the new one.
it was so great.
awesome day!
and i spent it with my good friend nicole.
we even decided on our friendship tattoos, which i will post about later cause i need some thoughts.
saturday night janine came over and we went for pizza.
sunday i woke up and went for a walk to safeway for some groceries.
after that i called my friend terry, and we went for a bike ride.
i sold my bmx cruiser last year, so i got to ride terrys small bmx.
we went down to kits beach and sat in the grass and watched the wierdos.
then went for some food and home.

kits beach

terry!

back at his house, i borrowed his laptop and found this beauty almost right away.


got ahold of my friend simon to come look at it, and after a quick check, it was mine!
joy of joys!!
that night was pretty chill, but that was okay because monday was a holiday!

monday i slept in some, and then simon called and said that he had picked up my bike from the girl that was selling it.
he's been so great!
i went and met him at the shop, which is close to my house, and we got to work.
he would tell me what to do, and let me do it, so i get to work on my bike as well as have it fixed properly!
we tore apart the carburetor and cleaned it out, and took off the chain.
couldnt put it back together as i needed to order a part, so that was it for the day.

and all of this with the fact that i was cat sitting, so i didnt have to be at home! so rad!
well, monday i had to go back to my house, but whatever.
it was a nice quiet week with two kitties to boot!

really?

ok, i know i have catching up to do. but maybe now it will be more like a surprise to see when the pics appear?
maybe...

the first week back at work was tough. some things changed, and when you like things the way they are, its hard to get used to the change. but ill manage.

finally getting settled in the new place. it will come together for sure.
carpets get shampooed this weekend, so while that is good news, it will be annoying as i wont be able to be home for a while til they dry a bit..

went to a good friends baby shower last sunday. it was so good to see her.
im actually happy that i should be here for when her little girl is born.
she is due in six weeks and i couldnt be happier for her.

it also makes me want to get over to the island to see my nephew soon.
man i love that guy.
if i can figure out how to post videos, i will post some of him.
so damn cute!

at the shower, i ran into my friend euvie, who actually went to denmark to do a year in school in copenhagen.
i asked her how it was, and she said that it was very hard.
she said that danish people were very hard to get to know, and didnt open up very quickly.
that when you opened up to them, they acted like you were crazy. or if they did open up, it was when they were drunk, and the next day acted like it never happened.
i dont know if its because she is russian that she had a different experience?
or maybe ive just met 'different' danes.

help me out here

i sent my resume off to my contact in denmark, who works in sweden.
he had written me to say that something came up in the sweden office.
its a marketing job. ive never done marketing.
but it looks very exciting and definately challenging.
it would be a great experience for sure.
after seeing my resume, they asked if i would be up for a video conference meeting, to say hello and put some faces to names.
we'll see what they say when i get in to work today. when that might happen.
i had to point out that although my resume says i took part in a bachelors degree program for accounting, i dont actually have a bachelors degree.
i dont know if that will matter at all.

i wish i had my vpn still, so i could log into my work email from home.
should have that back soon.

well, its almost 6 am.
ive been up since 3 for some reason.
yay for 4 hours of sleep. ill be a real treat today.
early to bed tonight for sure! right...
might as well get in the shower now and do my hair all nice.
just cause.
if it wasnt still pouring outside id walk to work.
stupid rain...

phew

ok my mom is going to sleep and ive had a bit of wine, so no long winded posts from me.

ill start off with the before the trip bit.

signed a contract at work to have me there for three more months.
time to make some more money, and time to see how this world economy crisis stuff levels out.
this travelling here makes me want to move more than ever.
i love my job and all, but i crave new and i crave travel.
we'll see how it all goes down.

one thing im glad for, with the signing of the new contract is that it will allow me to make back some of the money that i will be spending here. like whoa. so much on food it isnt even funny.
and magnets. can forget those.
check this out!














in the international market here in waikiki.
oh man.
i only spent $10 i swear.
in that store anyways..
im out of control....

but yeah. make the money. move on.
it needs to happen.

i wont lie though, ill be looking for that special someone to make me a wife in hawaii.
then i can live here always.
and not work. he has to be rich.
cause as much as i love hawaii, i love it while im on vacation.
im sure it would be a different story if i was working.
so that rich special someone. yes.

until then, this is what greeted us in our bathroom when we checked in.
dont ask. i have no idea.
except there is a nautical type theme to the hotel. more later.














ive named him henry.

things change..

so im not going to update about the rest of my trip really.

i did have a great time in florida, but its somewhat bittersweet now, and i dont really feel the need to log it here to look back at later.

texas was super fun and damn cold! it was all tattoo convention, with some flea market and beers mixed in. ok maybe cider too. and wine. and a couple tattoos. and ok, pretty heavy on the great people!!

back to work was wild. the layoffs have hit everyone pretty hard. i stop to talk to the guys here and there, and they are sad about friends that are gone now.

i extended my trip to hawaii by two weeks so i am not there from feb 7 to march 8. i can not wait! i need this relaxing forced to do nothing time, like whoa.

when i get back i will be working for two more months at my current job. they love me so much that they will do anything to keep me. its a good feeling. but it also makes it hard. its all hard right now.

i want more than anything to get out of vancouver. i do like it, much more than i felt about calgary when i left there, but i still feel like im stagnant in my life here. i need to get out and do something new, something different. find whatever it is that i am looking for. but this whole damn world wide economy crashing thing is scary!

is it smarter to stay put where i have the best paying job of my life, and wait til things look better to move? will that even happen in the near future? no one can say. arg.

ill see how i feel after hawaii.

so far january 2009 has been mostly about bad timing. im super ready for february to happen.
i will spend it in hawaii so it cant be all that bad. as for march and my return, i will be moving back into the building i lived in before this one, with my friend steve. my rent will be 120 cheaper a month, and there is laundry in house! that, in itself, is exciting. also, i get my own bathroom in my room! oh yeah. i dont have any furniture left really, so ill have my futon for a bed, my old chair thats been around for longer than i have in my family, and some odds and ends.

in a way im sad to leave this apartment, but ive been here for 4 years almost. time for something new. the new one will be dingy and a bit scummy. ah well. adventure!

i feel like im 20 again and moving out for the first time. it should be scarier or worrying more than it is, but im excited for it. its time i loosened up a little again. ill be saving more money for that move that will happen soon soon soon.

oh, also, to start the new feb, i have an appointment with deandra on tuesday. remember that pic of me with 'short hair'? yeah... eek!

urg

my week has been hell.

they laid off more than half of my team. my boys. i love those boys. they were what made me love my job so much. and while there are still many left, its not the same. it doesnt feel the same. and im not the only one to feel that way. its sad.

i had to work saturday, one of my four days off left, to move everyone around in the studio. all this really allowed me to do was see exactly who was let go, as i didnt get a list or anything. even sadder. at least i got paid overtime to be there. that is always a plus.

ive been stressing still about my jaunt to florida. but i had two really good conversations with my buddy jay in florida and my lysa in san fran. i am feeling good about the whole thing now. i have a contingency plan for the states, that will allow me somewhere to go if florida doesnt pan out, so i dont have to feel as though i am turning right around to run home. i can go to cali for a few months, hit vegas for APP and then off to Denmark!

i like having back up plans. makes me feel safe.

other than that, i packed up my clothes today. so weird. but my closet is empty. i just have to get my dresser out of the place, and figure out when my other friend will come to take the bed. then i can start cleaning up lots, and getting rid of the rest of my stuff. hopefully i can get all those boxes to the thrift store next weekend. fingers crossed.

the time crunch is really starting to get to me now. i have 10 days left here in vancouver before i head off to hawaii for two weeks. then im back for 3 or so days with no home and no where to be, and then back to florida. so quick. yikers.

so much to do yet still too. and too many people that want to see me before i go.

ill see what i can do.

sorry this wasnt more uplifting, and there were no pictures, and still no updates from the trip.
but hey, its a post! sue me.

oh dear...

yes yes i know. i havent been blogging. for weeks.
i will get on the updating, though i guess by this point in time, it wont be as detailed as it may have been before.

in any event.
tonight i did something my mother always does. and that, was buy a bottle of wine and proceed to have a couple glasses while chilling at home alone. (on an empty stomach mind you)

what prompted this was an extremely stressful day at work, due to the unknown future for most of my team. there will be announcements made later this week, which will undoubtedly result in some lay offs. its like walking around on egg shells right now, plus, with no direction, its very quiet and restless as well.

my day did get much much better, however, when i got home and called my friend heather to see if she wanted to take over my place. at first i was hesitant to give it to her, as i dont think she will be as quiet as i was. no where near actually. and i love this building, and its soooo quiet. but in the end, i wanted to save money! so whatever. not like ill be here to blame. so she came over, said she'd take the place, and even took most of my furniture. that means money for me, and the fact that i dont have to worry about getting it moved out of here. also, i can keep it all as somewhere to live until i go and not stay in an empty apartment.

the fun part now will be my bed. i want to list it for sale now, so that it sells, but i want to sleep in it til i go. or almost til i go anyways. february lets say. we'll see how that pans out.

so, my poor readers who may or may not have lost faith in my blogging as of late. there you have it. an update. more on the trip at some point soon? (like you even believe when i say that now)

last day of work in 2008!

today was insane. so hectic.
i was a huuuuge stresscase.
but now its done and i am almost all the way packed.
just waiting to see what time janine will come over to hang and stay over.
she is going to drive me to the airport cause she rules!

i got my hair cut after work by deandra.
no noodles for us all, so dee and i just had pizza.
i showed her this picture to see what she would think about me with short hair.
i love my hair long, but when i pinned it up after my christmas party, i thought it looked really cute.
deandra agreed.
i dont know... should i cut my hair off?