if i dont think about it, maybe it wont happen

so, much as im loathe to say it, i leave denmark tomorrow.
i simply cannot believe that 3 weeks has gone by already.
words cannot express how sad i am that its all done for this round, im really in a funk about it.
im being a bad friend right now actually.  everyone is at the new shop getting it ready for opening day tomorrow, and i am here at home (home!!!) reorganizing my suitcases so that they dont go over-weight and just generally feeling sorry for myself. 
i really do not want to leave.

this has been a totally different experience from my last trip in summer 2006.
that was an in/out 3 days extravaganza that was mostly tours and museums.
this was... living.

i could not have done it without amalie and allan.  not for 2 seconds.
truly two of the greatest people ive met in a long time.
not only have they been great and fun friends both online and in person at conventions, but they opened up their home to me and treated me like a roommate.
that has been a major part of my loving being here.  just feeling like i belong.
im going to miss them so much when i get back home.

the apartment itself is just cozy and inviting.  the way my home used to be before i got rid of all my retro and collectable things.  thinking i was somehow 'growing up' or 'maturing' or some crap like that.
like i cant just have a bunch of shit in my house!
clearly i could and i can again.  this place is amazing!

im going to miss my bread and cheese meals.
im going to miss lucifer swimming on the couch.
star trek tng is just never going to be the same anywhere else..

im already looking at my next trip here, and turning the wheels faster to figure out how to move.
it seems so easy in a thought, but there is so much to account for.  sigh.

i have a meeting tomorrow morning with a games studio here in town, but that is just to meet and get aquainted with my skillset.  not job openings right now.
but that could pay off!  keep your fingers crossed that it does.
so with that going on, tomorrow will be crazy.
meeting in the morning, run back home, head to bus station?
i hope there is more time than that, but i should be at the airport for 1230-1 at the latest.
so yeah, its going to be a tight day.   boo.

externally, i probably look like a lump right now.  passive blank face.  just sitting here looking vacant.
internally im having a total heart breaking temper tantrum.  sadly, i will still get on that plane tomorrow.

im sure amsterdam will be fun, but my heart will be here.
then its home to try and get back into the swing of my life there, and figure some things out.

at least i have a ton of new shoes to run around in....