if i dont think about it, maybe it wont happen

so, much as im loathe to say it, i leave denmark tomorrow.
i simply cannot believe that 3 weeks has gone by already.
words cannot express how sad i am that its all done for this round, im really in a funk about it.
im being a bad friend right now actually.  everyone is at the new shop getting it ready for opening day tomorrow, and i am here at home (home!!!) reorganizing my suitcases so that they dont go over-weight and just generally feeling sorry for myself. 
i really do not want to leave.

this has been a totally different experience from my last trip in summer 2006.
that was an in/out 3 days extravaganza that was mostly tours and museums.
this was... living.

i could not have done it without amalie and allan.  not for 2 seconds.
truly two of the greatest people ive met in a long time.
not only have they been great and fun friends both online and in person at conventions, but they opened up their home to me and treated me like a roommate.
that has been a major part of my loving being here.  just feeling like i belong.
im going to miss them so much when i get back home.

the apartment itself is just cozy and inviting.  the way my home used to be before i got rid of all my retro and collectable things.  thinking i was somehow 'growing up' or 'maturing' or some crap like that.
like i cant just have a bunch of shit in my house!
clearly i could and i can again.  this place is amazing!

im going to miss my bread and cheese meals.
im going to miss lucifer swimming on the couch.
star trek tng is just never going to be the same anywhere else..

im already looking at my next trip here, and turning the wheels faster to figure out how to move.
it seems so easy in a thought, but there is so much to account for.  sigh.

i have a meeting tomorrow morning with a games studio here in town, but that is just to meet and get aquainted with my skillset.  not job openings right now.
but that could pay off!  keep your fingers crossed that it does.
so with that going on, tomorrow will be crazy.
meeting in the morning, run back home, head to bus station?
i hope there is more time than that, but i should be at the airport for 1230-1 at the latest.
so yeah, its going to be a tight day.   boo.

externally, i probably look like a lump right now.  passive blank face.  just sitting here looking vacant.
internally im having a total heart breaking temper tantrum.  sadly, i will still get on that plane tomorrow.

im sure amsterdam will be fun, but my heart will be here.
then its home to try and get back into the swing of my life there, and figure some things out.

at least i have a ton of new shoes to run around in....

stockholm - a summary

i know i know, i need to just wrap up my whole trip so far.. but i have bits to tell about denmark, and i only have half an hour here in the stockholm central station on the internet (unless i buy more)(i might...), and i just want to yammer.

saw aaron off this morning to his flight in helsinki, and not a moment too soon. 
love him to death but he´s like a brother, so we fight and bicker and i want to kill him.
and three days with just him is waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much.  like whoa.
so i was happy to be on my own again for today.  i totally prefer to travel alone. egads!

wandered over to gamla stan to a couple shops, thought i lost my phone at the hostel, finished up my shopping (not much to do about the phone at that point anyways), walked back to the hostel, found my phone in my inner pocket, felt like a dumbass, remembered that i had forgotten to get something in gamla stan, hauled my suitcase through the snow back over there, got what i needed, hit the train and came downtown.  did i mention the snow?  there is alot of it...

from there, i put my suitcase in a locker and went shopping!  like i need to... maybe i need help.  therapy!
im out of control.
bought a couple tops at h&m cause they were cheaper in sweden, got talked out of trying to scam h&m and the cheaper swedish prices by amalie (she is one smart cookie), and hit a shoe store.  i need to have new shoes.  shoes, not boots.  so what did i get?  boots.  and shoes.  and runners.  but all on sale! honest!
three pairs of shoes, two being leather, for 1000 sek, which works out to about 150 cdn, or about 750 dkr (is that the abbreviation for danish kronne?).  whatever.  a good deal!  go me!

now to see how it all fits in my suitcase and still remains under the weight restrictions.  i have a (strong) feeling that i will be paying extra on my luggage going home.  oh well!  you only live once right!?

after that, i went to a pizza hut for a yummy/greasy lunch, as i hadnt eaten all day long.  bleh.
i also needed to use a washroom as it costs 10 sek to use them in the train station.  and its not like they are nice or anything.  seriously...

and now i have about an hour and a half before my train leaves.  at least its direct to copenhagen, and i can try sleep.  hope i have a window seat.. i should check that... hmmm i *think* it is.. fingers crossed!

i do have pictures from yesterday on my camera, but not on this here public computer.
we went to the vasa museum to see a 300+ year old restore warship.  definitely cool!

but all that later.  when i do real update-type posts with pictures.  once i can have a good sleep and a good shower.
i am soooooo looking forward to being back at my danish home.  i sure my danish family is happy to have me back!  taking over the living room and such as i do... (sorry!) (only a little.. cause i do love it...)
and tomorrow sarah comes to join me in copenhagen for 5 days!  so exciting!!!!!

ok.  thats all i have.  for now...
i could nap right now... or have a morfar?  yes thats it... a morfar.... mmmmmm...
must... stay awake... til .. the train.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

now i have to name my posts?

got the ol date working.  no idea why it never did before but whatever!

yesterday i slept til 4 pm as i was awake til 7 am.  not nice.
but we got outside yesterday, walked to the shop, and then i went for a bit of shopping.
i think the walk did me good.  i was able to sleep last night around 2 am, and now im awake at 930 am!
and the sun is out!

time to get up, get moving, figure out my fancy new camera a bit and maybe take it out on a walk today!

and later

ok so i slept most of the day.
i at least managed to walk to the grocery store to grab some much needed things (cheese.  very important) and come back again.
yep.  big day.
*tomorrow* i will adjust to the time difference and get out of the house!
i feel this cold is on its last legs and should leave me soon..
now to get rid of this nasty ticking cough...

more trek to come?  maybe... just maybe....

this apparently means its a birthday in the building, but im going to pretend its just for me.

feb 9

i lost a day in there somewhere ...

here i am in copenhagen!
flight was good, uneventful.
my six hour layover in amsterdam was nuts.
went through security complete with xrays to get to my gate, found my gate to be small and cold, asked about showers and was told i had to go back to the other end of the terminal, so another passport check and stamp. showered for fifteen euros in a facility that was not worth it (letter to be written), ate some fast food (mayo at mcdonalds in holland is basically tartar sauce?), napped in some 'comfort chairs' and then went through security complete with xrays again, went to my gate, found that it had been switched, spent 25 min finding new gate, read book. phew.

got into copenhagen at 1030 pm, got my suitcase, spent 10 min figuring out the train, bought a ticket, waited. an announcement happened on the platform in danish and everyone around me moved down the platform, so i followed.. got a train, *actually* got off at the right stop! and was found by amalie and allan! and lucifer too!

walked to the homestead, settled a bit and tried to sleep.

the first day was all over. i napped and woke up and napped.
taking a night time flight when you dont sleep well on planes to go to a place that is nine hours ahead will take its toll!

yesterday, once i was up, amalie and i wandered to the pharmacy so she could get some things, then we picked up some snacks and headed back home. we both have colds currently, so there are alot of various drops being taken and tea drank. and kleenex used. and hand sanitizer. good times! i hope we kick these soon.

watched loads of star trek tng as well. always a good remedy.

i think today i am back on track as far as time goes. ill shower eventually here and bundle up and maybe head out to some shops and to explore a bit. either that or ill read the camera manual im currently downloading, as i brought the french version with me. way to go me! .....

Lucifer and I outside the pharmacy

home sweet home

feb 6!

big day right!?

i am in the vancouver airport right now. free wifi ftw!

i was hung over today. and my voice is going from having the cold and drinking last night.
i sound terrible/sexy. depends on who you ask.

got everything packed today. last minute of course. thats how i roll.
managed to get out and have my work blackberry unlocked so i can get a danish sim card for it.
gots to have communication means!

now im just waiting.. i was at the airport early, as i thought it would be busy with the olympics being so close, but the international departure area is pretty dead. also, my flight is delayed 40 min. yay.
so ive been sitting here, talking on the phone, charging my ds and now.. blogging!
sans pictures. but that will change soon!
denmark is picture taking/picture posting time!

supposed to board in one hour. i hope it flys by. maybe ill walk to a quieter area and talk on the phone some more.

my mom had a hysterectomy yesterday, so she is still in the hospital. i hate that i couldnt be there with her this time. but at least i can call her.
so ill do that, drink my hot water and honey to soothe my poor throat, and hopefully get on the flight soon. and take off.
its something around 9 hours, but since its a night flight, im hoping to get lots of sleep.

depressing news is playing behind me. i really do have to go now.

feb 5

all better today. i totally sweat it out last night.

one more day of work tomorrow. i think it will be the most stressful day yet.
knowing that its my last day to get some big things done, cause i cant put them off any longer, making sure that everyone is up to date on what they need to be, and also getting some personal things done, like depositing money into my account, buying euros for my 6 hour stop over in the amsterdam airport, and unlocking my blackberry so i can get a pay as you go sim card in denmark.

christine got her yesterday and we hung out this evening. well, we did last evening too, as she is staying at my house, but last night we were both really tired by the time she got here.
today after work i went to meet her at sacred heart downtown where our friend steph is doing a guest spot while in town for basically the entire time i am gone. awesome.
so said hello steph, made plans for the three of us to go out for some sushi on saturday, and then we went for.... sushi. cant get enough.

we found this place across the street called sushi star, and thought it would be a regular hole in the wall sushi joint like you find all over vancouver. turned out to be a super cute fancy affordable place with awesome staff.
i decided to deviate from the norm and order some special rolls instead of the regulars (avacado roll, tempure yam...) but i was not prepared for how massive they were!
worst part is i thought about taking pictures and didnt. guess im not taking enough notes amalie, sorry. but so good anyways.

the rest of the night has been chilling at home, trying on shoes, packing a bit more and hanging out with christine.

bed time now. have to get up early and mentally prepare for a crazy day.

then its drinking time with the boys after work.

then. its saturday. go time.
make my suitcase pretty. make sure my liquids are packed nicely.
make sure i havent forgotten anything.
airport!
hmmm, i should remember to print out my itinerary/ticket tomorrow.... *sends self email at work*

ok! night!

..

trying to find something more exciting to have as a background.
thats all my tired, ill brain can come up with right now.

ill have time to make it better. honest.

feb 3

so, im getting sick. this is not good.
im supposed to go on vacation and have a merry time! (which i will anyways, but who wants to be sick while doing this?? im pretty sure no one...)
sore throat.. my sinuses are starting to plug up.. ive been drinking orange juice since i woke up around 4 am.
ill drug myself today and hope to chase it out. no sickness!

its going to be a long day due to my being up early as well.
maybe i can leave early.
i do have a massage appointment at 2... oh i cant wait for that.
maybe ill go home afterwards.

3 more days of work. i dont know if i can handle it.
i cant wait for some time to figure my life out. again. yahoo.

oh! and my camera came yesterday!
but the memory card it came with was broken, so hopefully that comes today.
fancy picture taking here i come!

and christine comes tonight as well.
she'll be staying with me until i leave, and then staying in my place while im gone away.

and that. is all i have to report. better go get ready for the gym.
i need to go, but maybe being sick i shouldnt?
i never know what i *should* do, but i know what my inner lazy bastard wants to do.
but that wont help me feel better for work. going back to sleep at this point will make me a zombie all day. ho hum.

oh AND

i bought a new camera today. should come on wednesday.
my mom works at a camera store so i get her discount.



also, as life would figure, i went to look online for the bra i bought in hawaii last year, and its discontinued. why do they always do this? just when you like something, they cut it off.
grrrrrr. now i have to hunt online to find my size.
for those who even care, i have small tits, so its not always easy to find a bra that fits right.
why discontinue them!!! boo.

hearts and happy thoughts

feb 1

ok i really dont like these date headings... boo.

i think that my dark mood from yesterday has lifted.
actually, i know it has.
it was still with me this morning, but instead of dwelling in it, i started to think about where it ws coming from and what i was really upset about and why i was letting it get to me like that.
i think its just another sign that i need some time away from home and my usual life here.

some time to reflect, to do whatever i want (nothing) for a while, to just think it all over.
and to experience some new stuff!

four more days of work. im doing my best to get through.
ive all but completely checked out, and im trying to care. for the team.
i just cant wait for it to all be done with.
120 hours til my flight leaves. is that bad that ive started counting hours already?
if it is, i dont care, im doing it anyways.

i should be packing right now. yes, still. no, i havent started.
/sigh
but i have the suitcase! at least there is that.
i may try to make a pile of clothes today that i can pack, ones that i wont wear for the rest of the week? kinda hard really... i mean, im going for a month! i can wear alot in a month...

how cold is cold? i can see on the weather network that its around -5C. not too bad.. could be better, but hey, im from alberta. it can sure be a hell of a lot worse..
i guess ill see what all i can fit in this big ol suitcase i was lent, and then see how much it all weighs.

and shoes! how many shoes does a girl bring for four weeks away from home?
i cant wear snow boots all the damn time. am i going to go somewhere where i can wear fun shoes? amalie seems to get to... hmmmmmmmm
maybe i really should have started this a while ago..