So much to do..

Man, how do I decide what I am going to do.. and why don't I have more weekends to do them in!

Here is what I have in mind:

-This weekend, Star Trek convention.  No debate there.  That is where I will be.
-Next weekend, possible long weekend if I take Friday off of work.  4 days!  If I do that, do I
               -Go to Kelowna to spend time with my Grandma, cause I am well overdue for that
               -Chill in town and work on the Friday to save that time for a different weekend to take off
-Weekend of July 9-11.  Was going to go to San Fran, but won't now as I can't afford it.  Can go to Seattle for a car drifting event with work and stay in a hotel for free.  But have to find a way down there.... and maybe take *that* Friday off of work?
-Weekend of 16-18.... I know something is going on here but I can't remember what...
-Weekend of 23-25.  Since I joined that Danish Sisterhood.. they are having a members BBQ on the 24th which would be fun BUT I can also go to San Diego for the comicon.. I have places to stay and everything.. and I sure won't get to go to that when I'm in Denmark.. but I will have my share of Danes.. :)
-Weekend of 30-1 I should head over to the island to see my brother and his family, as it is my nephew's birthday the week after but I will be in Hawaii instead! 

Man, I do get around don't I....  Maybe that mystery plan for the 16-18 is just sitting at home and not talking to anybody.. that sounds pretty good... hmmmmmm........

Oh, and after Hawaii I don't have any travel plans really... except for maybe DK on March 10?

if i dont think about it, maybe it wont happen

so, much as im loathe to say it, i leave denmark tomorrow.
i simply cannot believe that 3 weeks has gone by already.
words cannot express how sad i am that its all done for this round, im really in a funk about it.
im being a bad friend right now actually.  everyone is at the new shop getting it ready for opening day tomorrow, and i am here at home (home!!!) reorganizing my suitcases so that they dont go over-weight and just generally feeling sorry for myself. 
i really do not want to leave.

this has been a totally different experience from my last trip in summer 2006.
that was an in/out 3 days extravaganza that was mostly tours and museums.
this was... living.

i could not have done it without amalie and allan.  not for 2 seconds.
truly two of the greatest people ive met in a long time.
not only have they been great and fun friends both online and in person at conventions, but they opened up their home to me and treated me like a roommate.
that has been a major part of my loving being here.  just feeling like i belong.
im going to miss them so much when i get back home.

the apartment itself is just cozy and inviting.  the way my home used to be before i got rid of all my retro and collectable things.  thinking i was somehow 'growing up' or 'maturing' or some crap like that.
like i cant just have a bunch of shit in my house!
clearly i could and i can again.  this place is amazing!

im going to miss my bread and cheese meals.
im going to miss lucifer swimming on the couch.
star trek tng is just never going to be the same anywhere else..

im already looking at my next trip here, and turning the wheels faster to figure out how to move.
it seems so easy in a thought, but there is so much to account for.  sigh.

i have a meeting tomorrow morning with a games studio here in town, but that is just to meet and get aquainted with my skillset.  not job openings right now.
but that could pay off!  keep your fingers crossed that it does.
so with that going on, tomorrow will be crazy.
meeting in the morning, run back home, head to bus station?
i hope there is more time than that, but i should be at the airport for 1230-1 at the latest.
so yeah, its going to be a tight day.   boo.

externally, i probably look like a lump right now.  passive blank face.  just sitting here looking vacant.
internally im having a total heart breaking temper tantrum.  sadly, i will still get on that plane tomorrow.

im sure amsterdam will be fun, but my heart will be here.
then its home to try and get back into the swing of my life there, and figure some things out.

at least i have a ton of new shoes to run around in....

stockholm - a summary

i know i know, i need to just wrap up my whole trip so far.. but i have bits to tell about denmark, and i only have half an hour here in the stockholm central station on the internet (unless i buy more)(i might...), and i just want to yammer.

saw aaron off this morning to his flight in helsinki, and not a moment too soon. 
love him to death but he´s like a brother, so we fight and bicker and i want to kill him.
and three days with just him is waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much.  like whoa.
so i was happy to be on my own again for today.  i totally prefer to travel alone. egads!

wandered over to gamla stan to a couple shops, thought i lost my phone at the hostel, finished up my shopping (not much to do about the phone at that point anyways), walked back to the hostel, found my phone in my inner pocket, felt like a dumbass, remembered that i had forgotten to get something in gamla stan, hauled my suitcase through the snow back over there, got what i needed, hit the train and came downtown.  did i mention the snow?  there is alot of it...

from there, i put my suitcase in a locker and went shopping!  like i need to... maybe i need help.  therapy!
im out of control.
bought a couple tops at h&m cause they were cheaper in sweden, got talked out of trying to scam h&m and the cheaper swedish prices by amalie (she is one smart cookie), and hit a shoe store.  i need to have new shoes.  shoes, not boots.  so what did i get?  boots.  and shoes.  and runners.  but all on sale! honest!
three pairs of shoes, two being leather, for 1000 sek, which works out to about 150 cdn, or about 750 dkr (is that the abbreviation for danish kronne?).  whatever.  a good deal!  go me!

now to see how it all fits in my suitcase and still remains under the weight restrictions.  i have a (strong) feeling that i will be paying extra on my luggage going home.  oh well!  you only live once right!?

after that, i went to a pizza hut for a yummy/greasy lunch, as i hadnt eaten all day long.  bleh.
i also needed to use a washroom as it costs 10 sek to use them in the train station.  and its not like they are nice or anything.  seriously...

and now i have about an hour and a half before my train leaves.  at least its direct to copenhagen, and i can try sleep.  hope i have a window seat.. i should check that... hmmm i *think* it is.. fingers crossed!

i do have pictures from yesterday on my camera, but not on this here public computer.
we went to the vasa museum to see a 300+ year old restore warship.  definitely cool!

but all that later.  when i do real update-type posts with pictures.  once i can have a good sleep and a good shower.
i am soooooo looking forward to being back at my danish home.  i sure my danish family is happy to have me back!  taking over the living room and such as i do... (sorry!) (only a little.. cause i do love it...)
and tomorrow sarah comes to join me in copenhagen for 5 days!  so exciting!!!!!

ok.  thats all i have.  for now...
i could nap right now... or have a morfar?  yes thats it... a morfar.... mmmmmm...
must... stay awake... til .. the train.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

feb 9

i lost a day in there somewhere ...

here i am in copenhagen!
flight was good, uneventful.
my six hour layover in amsterdam was nuts.
went through security complete with xrays to get to my gate, found my gate to be small and cold, asked about showers and was told i had to go back to the other end of the terminal, so another passport check and stamp. showered for fifteen euros in a facility that was not worth it (letter to be written), ate some fast food (mayo at mcdonalds in holland is basically tartar sauce?), napped in some 'comfort chairs' and then went through security complete with xrays again, went to my gate, found that it had been switched, spent 25 min finding new gate, read book. phew.

got into copenhagen at 1030 pm, got my suitcase, spent 10 min figuring out the train, bought a ticket, waited. an announcement happened on the platform in danish and everyone around me moved down the platform, so i followed.. got a train, *actually* got off at the right stop! and was found by amalie and allan! and lucifer too!

walked to the homestead, settled a bit and tried to sleep.

the first day was all over. i napped and woke up and napped.
taking a night time flight when you dont sleep well on planes to go to a place that is nine hours ahead will take its toll!

yesterday, once i was up, amalie and i wandered to the pharmacy so she could get some things, then we picked up some snacks and headed back home. we both have colds currently, so there are alot of various drops being taken and tea drank. and kleenex used. and hand sanitizer. good times! i hope we kick these soon.

watched loads of star trek tng as well. always a good remedy.

i think today i am back on track as far as time goes. ill shower eventually here and bundle up and maybe head out to some shops and to explore a bit. either that or ill read the camera manual im currently downloading, as i brought the french version with me. way to go me! .....

Lucifer and I outside the pharmacy

home sweet home

feb 6!

big day right!?

i am in the vancouver airport right now. free wifi ftw!

i was hung over today. and my voice is going from having the cold and drinking last night.
i sound terrible/sexy. depends on who you ask.

got everything packed today. last minute of course. thats how i roll.
managed to get out and have my work blackberry unlocked so i can get a danish sim card for it.
gots to have communication means!

now im just waiting.. i was at the airport early, as i thought it would be busy with the olympics being so close, but the international departure area is pretty dead. also, my flight is delayed 40 min. yay.
so ive been sitting here, talking on the phone, charging my ds and now.. blogging!
sans pictures. but that will change soon!
denmark is picture taking/picture posting time!

supposed to board in one hour. i hope it flys by. maybe ill walk to a quieter area and talk on the phone some more.

my mom had a hysterectomy yesterday, so she is still in the hospital. i hate that i couldnt be there with her this time. but at least i can call her.
so ill do that, drink my hot water and honey to soothe my poor throat, and hopefully get on the flight soon. and take off.
its something around 9 hours, but since its a night flight, im hoping to get lots of sleep.

depressing news is playing behind me. i really do have to go now.

feb 5

all better today. i totally sweat it out last night.

one more day of work tomorrow. i think it will be the most stressful day yet.
knowing that its my last day to get some big things done, cause i cant put them off any longer, making sure that everyone is up to date on what they need to be, and also getting some personal things done, like depositing money into my account, buying euros for my 6 hour stop over in the amsterdam airport, and unlocking my blackberry so i can get a pay as you go sim card in denmark.

christine got her yesterday and we hung out this evening. well, we did last evening too, as she is staying at my house, but last night we were both really tired by the time she got here.
today after work i went to meet her at sacred heart downtown where our friend steph is doing a guest spot while in town for basically the entire time i am gone. awesome.
so said hello steph, made plans for the three of us to go out for some sushi on saturday, and then we went for.... sushi. cant get enough.

we found this place across the street called sushi star, and thought it would be a regular hole in the wall sushi joint like you find all over vancouver. turned out to be a super cute fancy affordable place with awesome staff.
i decided to deviate from the norm and order some special rolls instead of the regulars (avacado roll, tempure yam...) but i was not prepared for how massive they were!
worst part is i thought about taking pictures and didnt. guess im not taking enough notes amalie, sorry. but so good anyways.

the rest of the night has been chilling at home, trying on shoes, packing a bit more and hanging out with christine.

bed time now. have to get up early and mentally prepare for a crazy day.

then its drinking time with the boys after work.

then. its saturday. go time.
make my suitcase pretty. make sure my liquids are packed nicely.
make sure i havent forgotten anything.
airport!
hmmm, i should remember to print out my itinerary/ticket tomorrow.... *sends self email at work*

ok! night!

feb 1

ok i really dont like these date headings... boo.

i think that my dark mood from yesterday has lifted.
actually, i know it has.
it was still with me this morning, but instead of dwelling in it, i started to think about where it ws coming from and what i was really upset about and why i was letting it get to me like that.
i think its just another sign that i need some time away from home and my usual life here.

some time to reflect, to do whatever i want (nothing) for a while, to just think it all over.
and to experience some new stuff!

four more days of work. im doing my best to get through.
ive all but completely checked out, and im trying to care. for the team.
i just cant wait for it to all be done with.
120 hours til my flight leaves. is that bad that ive started counting hours already?
if it is, i dont care, im doing it anyways.

i should be packing right now. yes, still. no, i havent started.
/sigh
but i have the suitcase! at least there is that.
i may try to make a pile of clothes today that i can pack, ones that i wont wear for the rest of the week? kinda hard really... i mean, im going for a month! i can wear alot in a month...

how cold is cold? i can see on the weather network that its around -5C. not too bad.. could be better, but hey, im from alberta. it can sure be a hell of a lot worse..
i guess ill see what all i can fit in this big ol suitcase i was lent, and then see how much it all weighs.

and shoes! how many shoes does a girl bring for four weeks away from home?
i cant wear snow boots all the damn time. am i going to go somewhere where i can wear fun shoes? amalie seems to get to... hmmmmmmmm
maybe i really should have started this a while ago..

jan 31

wow. january is at an end already.
where did it go?

at least it means i have 6 days until i take off for denmark!
i should really start packing..

christine is coming on the 3rd to stay in my apartment while im gone.
i really need to clean before she comes.
im just so lazy... better snap out of it.

this weekend was interesting.
i had a friend open his mouth about something that really wasnt any of his business, to another friend.
which has now taken our silently and acceptably precarious relationship, to an potentially uncomfortable one.
we'll see tomorrow at work.
vague much?

its been rainy and yuck the last few days.
pretty vancouvery really..

5 more days of work and then relaxing time.
it will be hard to stay focused this week for sure. le sigh.

debating on picking up either a panasonic gf-1 or a canon rebel t1i.
maybe ill go with the canon, i cant decide yet.

im also thinking about a nintendo ds.
cause you know, i have money to burn?
who do i think i am? ah well, need something to do on the flight other than sleep and read i guess...

my horoscope for february in the ever dependable flare magazine (pinacle of todays society, i know) said that a temporary fling - or vacation romance (!!) - could turn into something with a longer shelf life than anticipated.
start lining them up amalie =D

jan 28

still no luck with the date thing.
maybe this little lady can help me out when im staying with her for 3 weeks.
i only have to hold for another 10 days!!!

so until then, manual dates.
and weekly blogs apparently.

work has been nuts.
i am quickly running out of time to get shit together.
a list has been made, but no packing done.
i dont even get my suitcase until the weekend.
ho hum.
maybe i should make a pile.. or start to anyways..

what do i need to bring?
apparently there is snow, so warm stuff.
but cute stuff too!
i hope its a big suitcase.. (borrowing from a friend so i have no idea)

ive been watching the wire finally, after many have told me how great it is.
i started season 2 last night and am 3 episodes in so far.
10 days to watch the rest. i can do this!
season 3 awaits me in denmark and i have to be ready!

i am starting to get excited about going too.
finally right?
its just been so busy that i dont have much time to think about it.
probably for the best...
also, usually when i travel, my days are action packed with things to do and places to go.
this time, i have 3 weeks in copenhagen with no plans.
so great.
my good friend sarah is going to come and see me there for 5 days which will rule hard.
also, this chicky will be in town for a few days too! fun times!

i cant wait to just be done work already.
lots of possibilities for new work when i am back.
in a new company even.
but no details, so thats all you get.

oh, did i mention i got a new nerdy tattoo over the christmas break?
way to keep you informed right?
well, you'll see soon enough.
i know you danes will be impressed!!

jan 7

time flies when youre stressed to the max.
this first week back at work has been hell, as im sure it is for many people.

the last two days of my vacation were nice and relaxing.
i only got out of my pyjamas to go and see sherlock holmes.
sunday i didnt even leave the house. infact, that was the day that it occured to me that i could really get used to rolling out bed when i felt like it and just sitting around all day figuring out what to do.
in other words, i could be on vacation all the time.
now to figure out how to get paid to do that...

first day back at work was slow, as most of the studio wasnt in until tuesday, but come tuesday, man oh man. what a shit show.
i have to move my team down a floor and the logistics that go into planning are definitely enough to give me grey hair. or at least get me to drink this month. yeesh.
im not sleeping well because of it, but only two more days and its done.
i think that the worst of it ended yesterday. i *think*....

ill be in at work on saturday as well, to make sure the move goes smoothly.
yay? not.. the only good thing about that is that i get paid overtime and that i have no excuse to not go to the gym that day as well..

im also really stressed about my job in general.
i feel very stuck right now, and unappreciated in the way that i can do so much for and i feel that no one takes me seriously.
i know i am greatly appreciated for what i do do for them, so i cant say that im ignored.
for the most part they have been good to me, but i want to do more, and im frustrated beyond belief at being told to 'keep doing the great job' im doing, and in SIX MONTHS they'll do a reassessment of cost of living and the like.
ive been doing this 'great job' for two years now, and no raise.
what on earth is my motivation really, to keep doing it.. for the promise that they will look into it? but no promise of any changes??
i want out. i love the team so much, but i want out.
boo.

and on that happy skippy note, im going to head to work and hit the gym.

its jan 7 today, and on feb 7 ill be landing in copenhagen.
holy crap, i simply cannot wait..

yep

its been a month since that last post.
or at least i think it has been.

i cant figure out why the date doesnt show up.
every setting i look at seems to point towards it being there.
suggestions?

work is crazy.
im burnt out.
im not happy.

planning a big trip for feb to miss the olympics here.
how big.. that is the question...

i was almost hit by a lady today who didnt fully stop at a stop sign.
i actually had to jump to my right so she didnt hit me on the left.
the she shook her head at me.
i yelled.
i wish i had yelled more or gotten her to answer more for her neglect of pedestrian safety.

my kitchen faucet drips, and its right behind me.
haaaaaaaaaaaate that sound.
ive asked to have it fixed. lord knows when that will be.
i also got them to turn the heat on in the building today, cause its freakin freezing in here.
i dont know how much good it will do.
this place is fine for now, but not forever. i dont like it *that* much..

my arm is almost done too, so that is at least some good news?
one more sit to finish up my shoulder.

and now, i leave you with me at lost lake in whistler last weekend.

island time

Tgif
Seriously

I am on the ferry right now, waiting to depart for nanaimo, where my brother and fam will pick me up and whisk me off to courtenay.

(Disclaimer (for those that pay attenetiony) my blackberry automatically capitalizes at the start of sentences and its a pain to correct every time. So there ya go, otherwise it wouldn't happen. Just trying out this blackberry mobile oposting deal. Might strengthen my drive to get an iphone or blackberry for myself, as this is works. But I digress..)

Its been a long and stressful week at work. They all seem to be that way these days.. Two more weeks in my crap apartment.. Ugh! I need a vacation. So while it will be good to see the fam and fabulously adorable Emmett (ok he gets capitalization cause he is my fav), this will be stressful in its own way. Most times I want to strangle my sister-in-law. We'll see how it goes.

Now that I have survived the full bus ride to the ferry terminal, full of stupid hippies, I am now stowed away in a nice seat away from most people. I love corners. I can sit back and enjoy this ride with my music and cheezies, the official snack of ferry riding. (As per me, as its been that way all my life)

And now, to see if I can add a picture..

next best thing

so, the olympics are coming up.
2010 winter olympics to be exact.

i plan to.. not be here.

i think ill head off to europe.. yeah..
at least i can vacation there, and see what there is to be seen?
or know? for jobs?

i have some friends i need to see (and meet their spawns) in england and switzerland..
some friends i havent seen in over 10 years in holland..

and there are always those danes.
are you danes around in feb-mar of next year??

vegas trip!

ok. vegas. wow.
first off, 6 days is way too long to be there.

i flew to albequerque, nm on the saturday.
brutally hungover i might add.
landed, saw jamies shop, evolution, and then begged to go to his house to pass out.
which i did.
we then went for some dinner (pizza), a drink (so needed) and were off to flagstaff, az for the night.
the next morning we drove through the hoover dam and saw that, then continued on to vegas!!!

dont really know what to say about that.
it was amazing.
i dont think i have felt that happy in the last two years, as when i was there with all my friends.
and my friends that are in the modification lifestyle sort of thing.
it just felt so good, i cant describe it.

the pool was amazing.
the hot tubs were open all night long. trouble.
make outs were had and enjoyed. (!)
i went to see the cirque de soliel show, love, which is all done to beatles music.
best. show. ever.
i loved it. cant wait to see it again.

friends were reconnected with
new friends were made
adventures had
one roller coaster rode
fun fun fun and love in my heart
too many hugs to count

i miss it already

starting out from flagstaff, az

yes. no explanation necessary

get your kicks on route 66

jamie and i at the hoover dam!

view as we drove over

almost there!

i heart lysa so bad. i miss her lots too

the ladies! christine, lysa, tasha, steph, julia and her sister

my favs! jamie and leo!

gregg! i may see him again in long beach!

my friend adam that i havent seen for 5 years!

blarg

i hate... well, alot right now.
but im being dramatic.

there is alot of stress at work right now, due to one 'coworker' thinking they are way better than the rest of us, and actually going behind our backs to sabatoge us.
its documented.
and their manager is out of office til friday. has been for two weeks.
amazing.

so, hopefully when i am back from my week away, they will be gone.
that would be super.

so, as per my earlier post, harper-lee is in town.
we went out tonight.
i dont know if it was a combo of my stress, and lack of money, and ...a full moon?
i just dont know, but i wasnt into it.
i am in a hermit mood, and i had to be out.
i dont like to be forced to do stuff, but sometimes... *sometimes* i am too nice to say it.
i did say it later in the eve, but i was already out so what did that do?

basically, i was out when i didnt want to be in public, and spending some few dollars that i dont have to spend on being out when i dont need to be.
and they were getting other rounds, so then i feel obliged to pay as well.
and i dont have it.
so that not only makes me feel cheap, but it just makes me feel bad too.
like, i cant keep up. not like i need to, but its this weird thing i have.
so i didnt have a good night.
i just want to go home and be alone.
i dont want to be here and feel like i have to go out.
but i will. whatever.
ill just eat dollar slice pizza. i dont know.
arg.

two more days.
AND THEN.

i fly to albuqueque, NM for a day of hang outs with my friend jamie!
and then we road trip it through arizona to las vegas!!!
then its five days in vegas with my besties.
i am so excited for that!!

i am also extra excited cause this year i decided to afford a room alone.
(hence my stress about spending money where i dont need to here)
my own sanctuary. ill need it.

man, these next two days cant go by fast enough!
so much to do at work. boo.
and my camera battery died so you get nothing else.

until later!

molokai

did you ever see this island?

probably not cause im a slacker and i dont make posts.

Danielle, Haylie, Fry and I got on the ferry one early morning and headed over to the quiet island of molokai.

the ferry itself was harrowing to say the least.
where two of the channels cross, the boat rocked so hard i still find it hard to believe that water didnt just come over the side.
it was almost impossible to walk on board.
i took haylie inside cause she was terrified, and the poor thing got sick.
i had fun myself..

(this was on the way back, but still)






















once on the island, we got our rental car, which was the single oldest most beat up rental car in the entire worldwide fleet im sure.
this poor thing has been shit kicked.
but we took it from one end of the island to the other anyways.

first we drove to the western side, and hung out on papohaku beach for a while.
3 miles of white sand and maybe 5 other people.






















it turned out to be too windy, so we piled back in the car and drove way to the other end.

some lava sand mixed in when we dug deep enough









our coconut husk fetching friend









not really alot to report, but it was neat to see it i guess.
i can check it off of my list in any event.


some other sightseeing/randomness

phew

ok my mom is going to sleep and ive had a bit of wine, so no long winded posts from me.

ill start off with the before the trip bit.

signed a contract at work to have me there for three more months.
time to make some more money, and time to see how this world economy crisis stuff levels out.
this travelling here makes me want to move more than ever.
i love my job and all, but i crave new and i crave travel.
we'll see how it all goes down.

one thing im glad for, with the signing of the new contract is that it will allow me to make back some of the money that i will be spending here. like whoa. so much on food it isnt even funny.
and magnets. can forget those.
check this out!














in the international market here in waikiki.
oh man.
i only spent $10 i swear.
in that store anyways..
im out of control....

but yeah. make the money. move on.
it needs to happen.

i wont lie though, ill be looking for that special someone to make me a wife in hawaii.
then i can live here always.
and not work. he has to be rich.
cause as much as i love hawaii, i love it while im on vacation.
im sure it would be a different story if i was working.
so that rich special someone. yes.

until then, this is what greeted us in our bathroom when we checked in.
dont ask. i have no idea.
except there is a nautical type theme to the hotel. more later.














ive named him henry.

aloha!

lots to update on and read up on.
but not right now.

everywhere here charges $10 a day for nets, so my mom and i got this going today.
ill write more tonight probably.

for now. i am alive and happy and finally got to the beach.
here's some shots for now... keep ya entertained in my slow moving blog.
my slog?
whatever..

me driving the red mustang convertible we had for two days














my mom and i at dinner on our first night there together. our hotel is in the background.














open door helicoptor tour!















this is one of the vents of the very active volcano, name escapes me right now.
sulpher fumes galore!

things change..

so im not going to update about the rest of my trip really.

i did have a great time in florida, but its somewhat bittersweet now, and i dont really feel the need to log it here to look back at later.

texas was super fun and damn cold! it was all tattoo convention, with some flea market and beers mixed in. ok maybe cider too. and wine. and a couple tattoos. and ok, pretty heavy on the great people!!

back to work was wild. the layoffs have hit everyone pretty hard. i stop to talk to the guys here and there, and they are sad about friends that are gone now.

i extended my trip to hawaii by two weeks so i am not there from feb 7 to march 8. i can not wait! i need this relaxing forced to do nothing time, like whoa.

when i get back i will be working for two more months at my current job. they love me so much that they will do anything to keep me. its a good feeling. but it also makes it hard. its all hard right now.

i want more than anything to get out of vancouver. i do like it, much more than i felt about calgary when i left there, but i still feel like im stagnant in my life here. i need to get out and do something new, something different. find whatever it is that i am looking for. but this whole damn world wide economy crashing thing is scary!

is it smarter to stay put where i have the best paying job of my life, and wait til things look better to move? will that even happen in the near future? no one can say. arg.

ill see how i feel after hawaii.

so far january 2009 has been mostly about bad timing. im super ready for february to happen.
i will spend it in hawaii so it cant be all that bad. as for march and my return, i will be moving back into the building i lived in before this one, with my friend steve. my rent will be 120 cheaper a month, and there is laundry in house! that, in itself, is exciting. also, i get my own bathroom in my room! oh yeah. i dont have any furniture left really, so ill have my futon for a bed, my old chair thats been around for longer than i have in my family, and some odds and ends.

in a way im sad to leave this apartment, but ive been here for 4 years almost. time for something new. the new one will be dingy and a bit scummy. ah well. adventure!

i feel like im 20 again and moving out for the first time. it should be scarier or worrying more than it is, but im excited for it. its time i loosened up a little again. ill be saving more money for that move that will happen soon soon soon.

oh, also, to start the new feb, i have an appointment with deandra on tuesday. remember that pic of me with 'short hair'? yeah... eek!

urg

my week has been hell.

they laid off more than half of my team. my boys. i love those boys. they were what made me love my job so much. and while there are still many left, its not the same. it doesnt feel the same. and im not the only one to feel that way. its sad.

i had to work saturday, one of my four days off left, to move everyone around in the studio. all this really allowed me to do was see exactly who was let go, as i didnt get a list or anything. even sadder. at least i got paid overtime to be there. that is always a plus.

ive been stressing still about my jaunt to florida. but i had two really good conversations with my buddy jay in florida and my lysa in san fran. i am feeling good about the whole thing now. i have a contingency plan for the states, that will allow me somewhere to go if florida doesnt pan out, so i dont have to feel as though i am turning right around to run home. i can go to cali for a few months, hit vegas for APP and then off to Denmark!

i like having back up plans. makes me feel safe.

other than that, i packed up my clothes today. so weird. but my closet is empty. i just have to get my dresser out of the place, and figure out when my other friend will come to take the bed. then i can start cleaning up lots, and getting rid of the rest of my stuff. hopefully i can get all those boxes to the thrift store next weekend. fingers crossed.

the time crunch is really starting to get to me now. i have 10 days left here in vancouver before i head off to hawaii for two weeks. then im back for 3 or so days with no home and no where to be, and then back to florida. so quick. yikers.

so much to do yet still too. and too many people that want to see me before i go.

ill see what i can do.

sorry this wasnt more uplifting, and there were no pictures, and still no updates from the trip.
but hey, its a post! sue me.