arg

yep. the cat isnt working.
we are way too different to live together.
he is far far too needy. and not that that is a bad thing, its just too needy for me.
he needs to be in a home where someone is home all the time and wants to be smothered in kitty love. i am not that person.
when i get home, i want to relax on my own a bit, and not have a kitty stuck to me, licking my toes, and mewing at me.
/sigh
i feel bad, i do, and im not sure where to go from here.
i let his previous owner know that its not working, and that id try to give it a bit more time, but that i really think he needs to be in a different home where he can get all of the love and attention that he needs/craves.

oh, and on a side note, and not a pleasant one, he puked on my couch last night.
not really helping his case much.

ugh. boo. happy sunday?

meet blu

alright, meet blu.
ill write more about him later.
right now its 620 am and he wont shut up and its really annoying.
we have a special relationship....


ill also work on my background later.. some more html editing is in order and i dont feel like figuring it out right now..

no bloggin

so i guess i dont have much to say
or much time to say it

i look at other peoples blogs and i dont think that i have so much interesting things to say or events to share.
facebook seems to cover most of my social life...
this was supposed to be somewhere that i could yap about my feelings and stuff that i was too 'embarrassed' to share publicly, but its just turned into a self pity whine fest.

maybe ill write more soon?
who knows..
for right now, it looks like blogger has given up hope on me...

ill see what i can do
life has just been so crazy that i dont even read anyone elses blogs anymore (sorry!!)

thats all i got.

oh, i got a cat.
more on that later?
maybe i can turn this into his blog...

whats new?

well, i sold my bike. right away too, so that was awesome.

trying to sell the couches now. might take less than im asking on them to get them out.

i am thinking now that i might not take a trip at all and just move to a better apartment.
i was going to tough it out here til january, then give it up and put my stuff in storage and go away for 2 months. i could couch surf when i got back and find a new place then.
one that i would spend more money on but feel a bit more settled in.
right now i feel like this is not somewhere that i can 'be'. i feel very.. immature in here, if that makes sense. its not very grown up.

almost makes me wish i hadnt left my last place, but i needed the change. i did.
its just frustrating.

went on a date last night with a boy that i have a crush on.
im not sure if he was totally aware that it was a date though, or if he just thought we were hanging out as friends. dinner and a movie. come on.
but i am going to go with my friend holly's advice, and hang out with him a few more times, just us. she says that after about 4 hang outs, if there isnt anything sparking, then its just friends.
he is very friendly and fun, but i suspect he may not know how to deal with dates and such so much, so maybe thats it. or maybe, just maybe, i have another friend.
time will tell.

still feeling in my funk but at least being active about it.
hung pictures up last week, so that it feels a bit better and lived in in here.
got my magnets up on the fridge too.
today i need to clean stuff and go through my boxes again and try to condense some more.
and laundry. damn that laundry...

i would also love to go shopping for a new pair of jeans, but maybe i can do that on the weekend... hmmmmm.......

the way it goes

*shakes fist at this murphy person*

why is it that the people you want to hit on you, dont.
and the ones you dont, do?

a guy at work, who is a friend and doesnt stand a chance to become more than that (and not cause he isnt a great guy he just totally isnt for me), sent me a message today that i looked really cute.
im pretty sure he has a crush on me, but doesnt push it cause we are friends.
and i want it to stay that way.

but there ARE boys at work that i wouldnt be opposed to receiving messages like this from.

ah well, such is life.

i listed my motorcycle on craiglist last night, and now have to deal with calls and emails to try and get it out of my hands. i better go downstairs and make sure that it starts up fine now...

if it doesnt, i might just light it on fire when it sits...

why do i drink again?

well, mostly a waste of a weekend..

had a good friday out with guys from work.
got very drunk but got to hang out more with one of my favourites.
if i could find him, but without a girlfriend, it would be super.
as it is, he is just a good friend.

le sigh.

saturday i stayed in bed til about 6 pm basically cause i was so friggin hung over.
why do i mix my booze?
i dont have a good reason for this.

saturday night was a fondue party at adams house!
cheese, oil AND chocolate. oh boy.
so much food and beatles rock band!!

today i slept in lots as well, but then went out and met peter for breakfast.
we walked down to taryn and syx's to see the photo display of syx's work and a visit.
i then stopped at sarahs and went through some old clothes of hers and got 4 for myself.
yay new/old stuff!
i then came home and hung stuff up on the walls so it can feel more like home.

i also got all my magnets on the fridge!

just have to figure out the best way to get allans prints up now.

ive also decided that i will give up this place when i take my trip.
put everything in storage as ill be gone for 7 weeks, and then find a place when i get back.
why pay rent for 2 months when im not here?

we'll see how that all pans out...

so much food. i love fondue!

doot doot doot

well my day was a bit better.
productive one might say. stressful, others might..

i may have had more to say, but i started drinking when i was home from laundry.
so now im a little.. drunk.
gin and juice!

i cant wait for this week to be done.

some inspiring conversations from todays public


~in grocery store~
me: i dont need a bag thanks.
checkout girl: you have your own?

... no im going to carry all this in my hands...
(it was more than an armful)



~in laundromat, taking clothes out of big side loading dryer~
*lights go out*
me:ummm, can you turn the lights back on so i can get my stuff out of the dryer?
laundromat guy: we're closed


... yeah i gathered that... but i want to get my shit....


honestly people!!!

give credit where credit is due

today started out good, but then got bad at the end.

im tired of busting my ass for a company that seems to only be able to give verbal acknowledgement.
dont get me wrong, i do enjoy actually hearing that my work is appreciated, and its nice that some people are willing to vocalize that, but i cant pay off my debt with praises.
ive been at the company for over a year and a half, worked my ass off, and no sign of a raise or extra time off or anything.
i am the one that has to go out and buy all the gifts and rewards for people that work hard, so i see what everyone gets.
and no, im not being jealous or greedy. i dont need to be matched. but i would like is some fairness.
these guys get paid heaps more than i do, and yet, they go for the lunches at nice places on the company card, and take weeks off at a time, and get all these kick backs, and i get paid over time.

oh, they are making it so i never have to work over time anymore, so there goes that perk.

i had someone have a big fit today and try to tell my manager that i dont do my job, because two things fell through the cracks. of the hundreds that i do every week!
its only because this person doesnt work close by me to see what i do, so they only know what they make up in their head i guess.
this person also made a show about a month ago about wanting to get to know me more cause we dont get to work close together.
guess what, this isnt the way to do it.

instead, this has further crushed my spirit.
made me that much more despondent to what is going on at work.

trouble is, am i running away from my problems?
is a fresh start really that, or is it hiding?

i am becoming more and more introspective the further this goes.
and depressed. there is a little of that going on.
maybe more than a little.
but when is the corey time?
i dont even know.

i was at work for 12 hours today, and i bet it doesnt make a lick of difference to this person.

i should add that my manager does know how hard i work and is backing me under this attack and is trying to difuse this person. but that doesnt make it hurt any less.

i dont want to be under-apprecaited anymore.


welcome to my emo blog.

monday-ne

today wasnt a monday-ish as it could have been.
i think work can get better with sarah helping out.
she is so great and im so happy to have her as part of the team.

i still love my job, but my spirit is broken.
maybe that can get better?

good news for the day: i have heat!
glorious glorious heat.
*inside* my apartment no less.

now i just need my arm to stop being all tight and itchy and hurty.
i may have to drug myself to sleep tonight, otherwise ill be up all night when i move my arm.
(did i mention i had a crap sleep last night? well i did)

its after 10 pm
normally id be going to bed now cause i have a circuit training (read:torture) class at 730 in the morning on tues and thurs, but with my arm in healy mode, im skipping it tomorrow.
i should go to bed soon though anyways.
after i dry my hair.

the dishes can wait until tomorrow.

from PAX in seattle a few weeks ago
graham/mario, the amazing wil wheaton and yours truly

yep

its been a month since that last post.
or at least i think it has been.

i cant figure out why the date doesnt show up.
every setting i look at seems to point towards it being there.
suggestions?

work is crazy.
im burnt out.
im not happy.

planning a big trip for feb to miss the olympics here.
how big.. that is the question...

i was almost hit by a lady today who didnt fully stop at a stop sign.
i actually had to jump to my right so she didnt hit me on the left.
the she shook her head at me.
i yelled.
i wish i had yelled more or gotten her to answer more for her neglect of pedestrian safety.

my kitchen faucet drips, and its right behind me.
haaaaaaaaaaaate that sound.
ive asked to have it fixed. lord knows when that will be.
i also got them to turn the heat on in the building today, cause its freakin freezing in here.
i dont know how much good it will do.
this place is fine for now, but not forever. i dont like it *that* much..

my arm is almost done too, so that is at least some good news?
one more sit to finish up my shoulder.

and now, i leave you with me at lost lake in whistler last weekend.

island time

Tgif
Seriously

I am on the ferry right now, waiting to depart for nanaimo, where my brother and fam will pick me up and whisk me off to courtenay.

(Disclaimer (for those that pay attenetiony) my blackberry automatically capitalizes at the start of sentences and its a pain to correct every time. So there ya go, otherwise it wouldn't happen. Just trying out this blackberry mobile oposting deal. Might strengthen my drive to get an iphone or blackberry for myself, as this is works. But I digress..)

Its been a long and stressful week at work. They all seem to be that way these days.. Two more weeks in my crap apartment.. Ugh! I need a vacation. So while it will be good to see the fam and fabulously adorable Emmett (ok he gets capitalization cause he is my fav), this will be stressful in its own way. Most times I want to strangle my sister-in-law. We'll see how it goes.

Now that I have survived the full bus ride to the ferry terminal, full of stupid hippies, I am now stowed away in a nice seat away from most people. I love corners. I can sit back and enjoy this ride with my music and cheezies, the official snack of ferry riding. (As per me, as its been that way all my life)

And now, to see if I can add a picture..

next best thing

so, the olympics are coming up.
2010 winter olympics to be exact.

i plan to.. not be here.

i think ill head off to europe.. yeah..
at least i can vacation there, and see what there is to be seen?
or know? for jobs?

i have some friends i need to see (and meet their spawns) in england and switzerland..
some friends i havent seen in over 10 years in holland..

and there are always those danes.
are you danes around in feb-mar of next year??

so

i dont blog anymore

its funny cause it think about it all the time.

i am blaming the fact that i hate where i live so much that it sucks my will to do anything when i get home.
that and work has been insane.

the good news?
im moving in three weeks!

then i will live alone again!
im taking over a friends place, and she is leaving alot of her furniture for me to use til her and her man get a bigger place, so i dont have to aquire new stuffs. this works perfectly for me.

my plan?
to be much happier in my new spot!
maybe start having some energy to do things like talk to friends and blog and exercise.
yes, you read that right, blogging does come before exercise.
maybe ill use it to push myself to exercise more?
who knows...

but til then.. i think of you guys... and try to find time to read blogs..
but i just dont feel like it when i get... here.
come on three weeks! fly by!!!!

keeping being AWESOME

a friend saw this somewhere and took a picture.
i find it far too amusing.. even being an ex-vegan..

i slack i know. i have posts ready but they are on my laptop. and my laptop isnt plugged in.

someday someday someday.

in the meantime, i found one of frankies kin in america.
this one belongs to one of my guildies. (im a nerd. deal with it.)

so really, this post is just for kristin.

...

how come im only attracted to guys who just get out of relationships and arent ready to date?
whats up with that?

poll the viewers (readers)

ok, so.
i want to get a new tattoo.
a friendship tattoo, one could even say.

the issue is, this tattoo needs to be behind the ear.
it just does. trust me.

now, i already have one tattoo behind each ear.
i dont like them much anymore.
but.
they are both also friendship tattoos.

(we are not even going to discuss the circle i am going in here)
(in fact, we wont even acknowledge that anymore)

i am still friends with girls whom i share these tattoos with.
red star outline with jill (hate the star)
skull and crossbones with shauna (haaaate the fact that i have a skull on my head)

so, the question is, is there a way to cover them up and explain away what ive done?
granted, i dont see either very often, but i know they would both be hurt.

its not that i dont love them both to bits anymore, i just dont want those tattoos there.
and we arent that close still anyways.

what do i do??

question me all you want. i need to discuss this...
blarg

my bike

got to work on my bike again tonight!
simon texted me to tell me there was good news, but i could call him after work to find out.

the news was that my battery was fully revived!
and that when he put the carburetor back in, it fired up no problem!
what a great deal for a bike!!

so i headed over to the shop and we set to work.
i still need to order in that part, but we can make do for now with a quick fix.
its just not permanent.

we did an oil change, but need a new filter, which simon is grabbing tomorrow,
bled the brakes, added a fuel filter, put the chain back on and cleaned the fuse contacts.

i go pick it up on wednesday!!!

afterwards, claire met me in the parking lot by my house with her bike, which is a bigger version of my own.
and alot heavier too.
but i took it around the parking lot for a bit before she had to run.
its been soooooo long since i was on a bike that its almost like i never have, but once i was going, it felt all to familiar again.
though i did tip her bike over once. but at a very slow speed, no worries.
its just so damn heavy that once it leans too far over...well... its just gone.

we are going to meet up again tomorrow and practice some more.
then wed i can get mine and practice with it!
it will be soo much easier to use than claires since mine is so much lighter!

i cant wait!!!!!!!

sorry no pics, but when its all done, you better believe there will be!

epic weekend #2!

wow, two in a row!
who would have thunk it?!

so friday i had to work late, cause we are starting our moves to the burnaby location.
the peeps from the 20th floor went last friday and i stayed to help out.
i get paid overtime at least.

afterwards, i headed home and got ready to go out.
met up with karina and tanis, and went to a house party that was mostly people from a different gaming studio.
a nice change from partying with my guys.
made some new friends and had fun!

darryl and tanis

new friend neil and old friend karina
(she isnt old but you know what i mean...)

saturday i woke up a bit hung over.
i walked to canadian tire and bought a wire brush and some kerosene.
also orange hand wash cause my hands get filthy with all this motor work.
i had posted on facebook when i got up that i wanted to go and do the grouse grind, and my friend Corey (same spelling and same birthday! but he's a year older) responded almost right away saying he was down.
so he came and picked me up and off we went!

the grouse grind is this steep man made trail up the side of grouse mountain.
its like, the thing to do here for some reason, and after living here for five years, ive never done it.
its about 3 km up the mountain. and its hard!
i thought i was going to pass out a few times, but i just stopped and drank loads of water.
and boy did i ever feel good when i got to the top!
i cant wait to do it again!!!

on the trail

we made it!

view from the top

saturday night i went to a friends birthday/5 year wedding anniversary party
it was 30s/depression era themed
super fun and always nice to see them!
and always fun to get dressed up!!!

happy anniversary kate and andrew!

there was even gruel for us to eat
and yes, i look drunk, even though im not
yet

two kids later and she's still in her wedding dress!
josh and jen

sunday i got up and sat in the sun and cleaned my motorcycle chain.
deandra came to join me, and when i was done, we wandered over to a dog park nearby.
soon after, my brother, sister-in-law and cutest nephew ever got into town.
they could only stop for 45 min but its always nice to see them and cutie little emmett!!

emmett!!

my brother tyler and the dog maizie

best smile ever!!

after they took off, d and i sat in the sun for a couple more hours.
she then headed home and went to eat dinner, shower and attempt to go to bed early.
i was soo tired but it was too damn hot in my apartment so i didnt sleep well.
but yay fun weekend!!!

b bolen

my friend sarah came to town!
she moved to toronto 3 years ago and i havent seen her since.
and although i only got to connect with her on her last night in town, it was super duper rad to see her!
i miss her tons!

sarah b bolen and i

kim, sarah and melissa at the anza club

kim and i

epic weekend #1

so, a week ago we had a long weekend.
and i had a rad long weekend.
first rad weekend in a long time and im still super stoked about it!

but first, i was made RFT last week!
well, technically, it started this week, but now im permanent!
this means that i dont have to stress about contracts running out and needing to find a new job before i have enough money to do certain things.
like move.
talk about a stress relief!
we went for lunch to celebrate, and manu ordered me a double hendricks and tonic.
for lunch!
yikes..

manu and i

friday was our last beer and cake at the downtown location for our office.
beer and cheer happens every friday. we have free beer and cheesecake.
until it all runs out.
so it was a big party, being the last one and all.

adam and i

miss amie!
pterodactyls!!

janna and i and a tribble!

afterwards, i went out for some kareoke with some of the audio peeps.
no need to explain there. kareoke always rules.


saturday was just pure epic.
8 hours in a theatre watching star trek related things.
i heart star trek. hard.
more than star wars. there, i said it.
we watched animated episodes, rap battles and poetry.
then wrath of khan (second trek movie) and THEN the new one.
it was so great.
awesome day!
and i spent it with my good friend nicole.
we even decided on our friendship tattoos, which i will post about later cause i need some thoughts.
saturday night janine came over and we went for pizza.
sunday i woke up and went for a walk to safeway for some groceries.
after that i called my friend terry, and we went for a bike ride.
i sold my bmx cruiser last year, so i got to ride terrys small bmx.
we went down to kits beach and sat in the grass and watched the wierdos.
then went for some food and home.

kits beach

terry!

back at his house, i borrowed his laptop and found this beauty almost right away.


got ahold of my friend simon to come look at it, and after a quick check, it was mine!
joy of joys!!
that night was pretty chill, but that was okay because monday was a holiday!

monday i slept in some, and then simon called and said that he had picked up my bike from the girl that was selling it.
he's been so great!
i went and met him at the shop, which is close to my house, and we got to work.
he would tell me what to do, and let me do it, so i get to work on my bike as well as have it fixed properly!
we tore apart the carburetor and cleaned it out, and took off the chain.
couldnt put it back together as i needed to order a part, so that was it for the day.

and all of this with the fact that i was cat sitting, so i didnt have to be at home! so rad!
well, monday i had to go back to my house, but whatever.
it was a nice quiet week with two kitties to boot!

dinosaurs!!!!!!!

2.5 more hours
its like i got a whole new tattoo

steve moore rules!

the big brachisaurus is bradley i
the rest dont have names yet..

vegas trip!

ok. vegas. wow.
first off, 6 days is way too long to be there.

i flew to albequerque, nm on the saturday.
brutally hungover i might add.
landed, saw jamies shop, evolution, and then begged to go to his house to pass out.
which i did.
we then went for some dinner (pizza), a drink (so needed) and were off to flagstaff, az for the night.
the next morning we drove through the hoover dam and saw that, then continued on to vegas!!!

dont really know what to say about that.
it was amazing.
i dont think i have felt that happy in the last two years, as when i was there with all my friends.
and my friends that are in the modification lifestyle sort of thing.
it just felt so good, i cant describe it.

the pool was amazing.
the hot tubs were open all night long. trouble.
make outs were had and enjoyed. (!)
i went to see the cirque de soliel show, love, which is all done to beatles music.
best. show. ever.
i loved it. cant wait to see it again.

friends were reconnected with
new friends were made
adventures had
one roller coaster rode
fun fun fun and love in my heart
too many hugs to count

i miss it already

starting out from flagstaff, az

yes. no explanation necessary

get your kicks on route 66

jamie and i at the hoover dam!

view as we drove over

almost there!

i heart lysa so bad. i miss her lots too

the ladies! christine, lysa, tasha, steph, julia and her sister

my favs! jamie and leo!

gregg! i may see him again in long beach!

my friend adam that i havent seen for 5 years!

yeah so...

my house smells when you walk in
it smells of stale, stagnant, sweaty boy.
its the only way i can describe it.
honest.

also
have i mentioned that i hate getting tattooed?
cause i do
this point is trumped by the fact that steve is astounding at what he does
like whoa
ill have pics off my camera tomorrow
right now i need sleep
the nyquil kicked my ass
i saw my friend terry afterwards and hardly remember the conversation
he must have thought i was out to lunch

tomorrow, when i get home, i will post pics of the new dino friends
and also of vegas
before i go back over to siobhan and cohens, cause im cat sitting for a week while they are in new york.

they are really the cutest

i cant take credit for that pic, its siobhans
ill take some of my own though
but for now, good night

home again

ill get pictures and updates up soon.
for now id like to restate that i hate having a roommate.

i havent been in the house for a week and a half roughly.
i got home around 11 pm last night.
sink is full of dirty dishes, dishwasher is full of dirty dishes.
no glasses to use.
since the sink is so full, i dont really want to cook either.

he knew when i was coming back.
make some sort of fucking effort?!?

fuck this...
i cant wait to get out...

blarg

i hate... well, alot right now.
but im being dramatic.

there is alot of stress at work right now, due to one 'coworker' thinking they are way better than the rest of us, and actually going behind our backs to sabatoge us.
its documented.
and their manager is out of office til friday. has been for two weeks.
amazing.

so, hopefully when i am back from my week away, they will be gone.
that would be super.

so, as per my earlier post, harper-lee is in town.
we went out tonight.
i dont know if it was a combo of my stress, and lack of money, and ...a full moon?
i just dont know, but i wasnt into it.
i am in a hermit mood, and i had to be out.
i dont like to be forced to do stuff, but sometimes... *sometimes* i am too nice to say it.
i did say it later in the eve, but i was already out so what did that do?

basically, i was out when i didnt want to be in public, and spending some few dollars that i dont have to spend on being out when i dont need to be.
and they were getting other rounds, so then i feel obliged to pay as well.
and i dont have it.
so that not only makes me feel cheap, but it just makes me feel bad too.
like, i cant keep up. not like i need to, but its this weird thing i have.
so i didnt have a good night.
i just want to go home and be alone.
i dont want to be here and feel like i have to go out.
but i will. whatever.
ill just eat dollar slice pizza. i dont know.
arg.

two more days.
AND THEN.

i fly to albuqueque, NM for a day of hang outs with my friend jamie!
and then we road trip it through arizona to las vegas!!!
then its five days in vegas with my besties.
i am so excited for that!!

i am also extra excited cause this year i decided to afford a room alone.
(hence my stress about spending money where i dont need to here)
my own sanctuary. ill need it.

man, these next two days cant go by fast enough!
so much to do at work. boo.
and my camera battery died so you get nothing else.

until later!

pretty feets

here's our pedi's from yesterday!

ugh, now i have to go to work...

harper lee in the house!

but no pics of her. yet.

i am staying with her in her hotel this week.
she is in vancouver for a conference, and is staying in this nice hotel a few blocks from my work.
she somehow managed to get a room on the top floor!

its soo nice and big and we have a huge patio!

we went and got pedicures, and then some wine, ordered room service and sat in the hot tub downstairs.

now its time to relax with wine and watch some tv!

the big comfy king size bed

the view out onto the patio

two sinks! who needs two??

people who need to chill wine, thats who

jet tub!

room service!

such a good burger!!
(fries werent so hot)

harper-lee's fish! so yum!

ok, here is harper-lee and i
from maui