grrr

i am very irritated right now. so im going to vent.

if you say you are going to call someone to drop something off over the weekend.
you do it.
if for some reason you cannot, you call them to tell them so.
that is, if you are a good friend. and i dont mean good as in close, i mean as in a decent person.

you dont wait for that person to call/text you to ask when you are coming by, only to reply that maybe you can drop whatever it is off during the week instead.
clearly you werent going to call at all. just forgot?

i really hate being kept waiting, which is what this probably comes down to.
and i held some of my sunday open to be here for this suitcase to be dropped off.
and this person just keeps pissing me off.
supposedly they consider me one of their best friends, but if this is how they keep treating 'best friends' then id hate to see the total lack of respect that anyone else gets.

i cannot wait to get out of town.
if for no other reason than to get away from the drama that has been happening in my life over the last few weeks. wtf.
where does it come from even?? can i please go back to the quiet times? im sorry i ever wished for a life!

(and there are many more reason that i want to get out of town, im just being dramatic)

ok, thats it for now. but with my mood right now, maybe ill be back to throw more angry vents at you all.
or maybe ill watch more of the wire. halfway through season two now..

jan 31

wow. january is at an end already.
where did it go?

at least it means i have 6 days until i take off for denmark!
i should really start packing..

christine is coming on the 3rd to stay in my apartment while im gone.
i really need to clean before she comes.
im just so lazy... better snap out of it.

this weekend was interesting.
i had a friend open his mouth about something that really wasnt any of his business, to another friend.
which has now taken our silently and acceptably precarious relationship, to an potentially uncomfortable one.
we'll see tomorrow at work.
vague much?

its been rainy and yuck the last few days.
pretty vancouvery really..

5 more days of work and then relaxing time.
it will be hard to stay focused this week for sure. le sigh.

debating on picking up either a panasonic gf-1 or a canon rebel t1i.
maybe ill go with the canon, i cant decide yet.

im also thinking about a nintendo ds.
cause you know, i have money to burn?
who do i think i am? ah well, need something to do on the flight other than sleep and read i guess...

my horoscope for february in the ever dependable flare magazine (pinacle of todays society, i know) said that a temporary fling - or vacation romance (!!) - could turn into something with a longer shelf life than anticipated.
start lining them up amalie =D

jan 28. b?

all my posts this year have been long.
and wordy.
so this is a bonus blog.
about nothing.

but it has a picture!

my nephew emmett!

jan 28

still no luck with the date thing.
maybe this little lady can help me out when im staying with her for 3 weeks.
i only have to hold for another 10 days!!!

so until then, manual dates.
and weekly blogs apparently.

work has been nuts.
i am quickly running out of time to get shit together.
a list has been made, but no packing done.
i dont even get my suitcase until the weekend.
ho hum.
maybe i should make a pile.. or start to anyways..

what do i need to bring?
apparently there is snow, so warm stuff.
but cute stuff too!
i hope its a big suitcase.. (borrowing from a friend so i have no idea)

ive been watching the wire finally, after many have told me how great it is.
i started season 2 last night and am 3 episodes in so far.
10 days to watch the rest. i can do this!
season 3 awaits me in denmark and i have to be ready!

i am starting to get excited about going too.
finally right?
its just been so busy that i dont have much time to think about it.
probably for the best...
also, usually when i travel, my days are action packed with things to do and places to go.
this time, i have 3 weeks in copenhagen with no plans.
so great.
my good friend sarah is going to come and see me there for 5 days which will rule hard.
also, this chicky will be in town for a few days too! fun times!

i cant wait to just be done work already.
lots of possibilities for new work when i am back.
in a new company even.
but no details, so thats all you get.

oh, did i mention i got a new nerdy tattoo over the christmas break?
way to keep you informed right?
well, you'll see soon enough.
i know you danes will be impressed!!

jan 20

where does time go? i get a little busy and almost two weeks go by!

lets see.. what went on...
well, i worked alot. and that, in itself, wasnt very exciting at all.

last weekend i went to seattle to watch a warhammer tournament.
yes, the board game.
it was super nerdy and super fun.
but very tiring too, somehow.... standing there watching really takes its toll.
and for some reason i took zero pictures.
i have no good excuse.

this week is more work.
i should be getting excited for my trip, as i leave in 2.5 weeks, but im so busy that i havent gotten there yet.
must work on that.
maybe if i make a list of things i should pack it will spark it off?
hrmmmm..

tonight, i am feeling very emotional.
or maybe sensitive is a better word.

ive been trying to help a friend get an electric piano for his brother, when he comes to visit.
so tonight, i was following up.
he was asking me odd questions, and i couldnt get the number of the girl who was going to lend it to me.
turns out they were all together and taking the piss.
im just really annoyed. should i be?
i dont know if im being irrational here, but my feelings are quite hurt.

the way i see it, im taking time from my personal life, to help out with something that makes zero difference to me if it happens or not.
and they are being dicks.
i am not impressed at all.

maybe im feeling all butthurt that i didnt get invited out?
i dont know.
but boo to this feeling.
its not even pms! arg.


anywho, enough wimpering.
im going to go to bed now.
exciting times i tell ya.
two more days this week. then its only 2 weeks til blast off.

must watch more wire too. ive only gotten 3 episodes down so far.
i have alot of work to do!

jan 9?

i dont even know what the date is anymore, thats how crazy this week has been.

also, i dont know how to make the date appear above my posts like amalie's blog.. and ive looked! i swear... maybe im blind but i cant seem to get it..

the week is almost done. i have to work today to make sure the movers get everyones stuff to their new desks properly. yes, even though they are 'professional' movers, they are monkeys and fuck shit up all the time. so, yay for saturday.

been planning more of my trip to europe, but man, i seem to have no time.
im hoping once this big move is done with, i can focus some more.
i keep getting asked if im getting excited to go, and i am, but not like i think i should be.
i have no time! and that sucks... but its 4 weeks today! oh man..

been hitting the gym the last few days, and that is feeling pretty good.
im also not drinking for january. i started to get out of control towards the end of last year, and i need to dry out a bit.
along with that, im trying to cut back on my dairy, sugar and salt intake, though i failed miserabley with that last night, as my friend Jen came over and we snacked alot.
ah well, sometimes its needed to lift heavy spirits, right?

so far this years blogging has been devoid of pictures.
and that is going to continue into todays.. i dont have many pictures to share right now.
ill try find some from over the christmas break.

until then, have a great day! im off to work...
at least there is paid overtime...

jan 7

time flies when youre stressed to the max.
this first week back at work has been hell, as im sure it is for many people.

the last two days of my vacation were nice and relaxing.
i only got out of my pyjamas to go and see sherlock holmes.
sunday i didnt even leave the house. infact, that was the day that it occured to me that i could really get used to rolling out bed when i felt like it and just sitting around all day figuring out what to do.
in other words, i could be on vacation all the time.
now to figure out how to get paid to do that...

first day back at work was slow, as most of the studio wasnt in until tuesday, but come tuesday, man oh man. what a shit show.
i have to move my team down a floor and the logistics that go into planning are definitely enough to give me grey hair. or at least get me to drink this month. yeesh.
im not sleeping well because of it, but only two more days and its done.
i think that the worst of it ended yesterday. i *think*....

ill be in at work on saturday as well, to make sure the move goes smoothly.
yay? not.. the only good thing about that is that i get paid overtime and that i have no excuse to not go to the gym that day as well..

im also really stressed about my job in general.
i feel very stuck right now, and unappreciated in the way that i can do so much for and i feel that no one takes me seriously.
i know i am greatly appreciated for what i do do for them, so i cant say that im ignored.
for the most part they have been good to me, but i want to do more, and im frustrated beyond belief at being told to 'keep doing the great job' im doing, and in SIX MONTHS they'll do a reassessment of cost of living and the like.
ive been doing this 'great job' for two years now, and no raise.
what on earth is my motivation really, to keep doing it.. for the promise that they will look into it? but no promise of any changes??
i want out. i love the team so much, but i want out.
boo.

and on that happy skippy note, im going to head to work and hit the gym.

its jan 7 today, and on feb 7 ill be landing in copenhagen.
holy crap, i simply cannot wait..

jan 1

well, today was of no particular note, but a decent day none-the-less.

i wasnt hung over, but was so exhausted from the last two late nights out that i was basically useless all day anyways.
naps were had, season one of deadwood was watched, the dark knight played in the background for a bit (in fact, i think i still have it paused and need to watch the end) (heath ledger was brilliant in it btw), and i even did some pvp in wow.
yep, big day.

oh, and i went to see sherlock holmes with euvie and her bf and their friend.
i was told the movie was 'ok' but i thought it was great and thoroughly enjoyed it.
i do like robert downy jr. i recomment seeing it, or at the very least, renting it.

connected with sam today too! planning an excursion to milan when i am over in denmark in feb.
the tattoo convetion will be going on, and we are going to meet up (and actually meet as well) and adventure/get lost in milan! fun times to be had my dear!!
(and you can ask amalie and allan, i am not a murderer. unless they think i am. which would be troubling... )

so my trip is roughly going to look something like this:

feb 7 - arrive in copenhagen
feb 11/12 - fly to milan
feb 15 - fly to stockholm
feb 17 - fly back to copenhagen
mar 1 - fly to amsterdam
mar 6 - back to good ol canada

belgium will happen sometime in the holland portion, just dont know when.

exciting times, non?
just have to book some flights and hostels and get that ball moving!

5 weeks!!

2010

lets see how this goes.. with the new year and all...

2009 was a crap year for me. sure good things happened, but some bad shit happened too, and those things seem to crowd my memories, so out with it.

if i want to believe in karma, then maybe i brought it all on myself. what lesson did i need to learn this past year? and did i pay enough attention to learn it? here's hoping.

i lost friends, lost respect for other friends, was used and abused (not physically, thank goodness), lied to and cheated.

i also met new great people, had life turn around a few times, yes for the better, and learned alot. about life and myself and where my place in the world might be. even if it was only a hint.

all in all, however, im excited to see the new year in.

i spent it in a fashion i have never done, which was to go to a party with a few people i work with, whom i never spend any time with, and meet their friends and significant others. new friendships were formed and i couldnt be happier about it. i had thought about relocating later in the night, but when the time came, i was happy where i was, and that was enough for me.

so here's to a year of doing what makes you happy. whatever that may be.
i know im going to do my best this year to figure out what that is.
ive tried before to be more selfish and look out for myself, but i still go back to putting too much dependancy on others.
no one will look out for my best interests more than myself. i know this, now its time to put it into practice.

happy new years everyone. whatever that means to you.
i hope you make it a good one.

arg

yep. the cat isnt working.
we are way too different to live together.
he is far far too needy. and not that that is a bad thing, its just too needy for me.
he needs to be in a home where someone is home all the time and wants to be smothered in kitty love. i am not that person.
when i get home, i want to relax on my own a bit, and not have a kitty stuck to me, licking my toes, and mewing at me.
/sigh
i feel bad, i do, and im not sure where to go from here.
i let his previous owner know that its not working, and that id try to give it a bit more time, but that i really think he needs to be in a different home where he can get all of the love and attention that he needs/craves.

oh, and on a side note, and not a pleasant one, he puked on my couch last night.
not really helping his case much.

ugh. boo. happy sunday?