jan 20

where does time go? i get a little busy and almost two weeks go by!

lets see.. what went on...
well, i worked alot. and that, in itself, wasnt very exciting at all.

last weekend i went to seattle to watch a warhammer tournament.
yes, the board game.
it was super nerdy and super fun.
but very tiring too, somehow.... standing there watching really takes its toll.
and for some reason i took zero pictures.
i have no good excuse.

this week is more work.
i should be getting excited for my trip, as i leave in 2.5 weeks, but im so busy that i havent gotten there yet.
must work on that.
maybe if i make a list of things i should pack it will spark it off?
hrmmmm..

tonight, i am feeling very emotional.
or maybe sensitive is a better word.

ive been trying to help a friend get an electric piano for his brother, when he comes to visit.
so tonight, i was following up.
he was asking me odd questions, and i couldnt get the number of the girl who was going to lend it to me.
turns out they were all together and taking the piss.
im just really annoyed. should i be?
i dont know if im being irrational here, but my feelings are quite hurt.

the way i see it, im taking time from my personal life, to help out with something that makes zero difference to me if it happens or not.
and they are being dicks.
i am not impressed at all.

maybe im feeling all butthurt that i didnt get invited out?
i dont know.
but boo to this feeling.
its not even pms! arg.


anywho, enough wimpering.
im going to go to bed now.
exciting times i tell ya.
two more days this week. then its only 2 weeks til blast off.

must watch more wire too. ive only gotten 3 episodes down so far.
i have alot of work to do!

jan 9?

i dont even know what the date is anymore, thats how crazy this week has been.

also, i dont know how to make the date appear above my posts like amalie's blog.. and ive looked! i swear... maybe im blind but i cant seem to get it..

the week is almost done. i have to work today to make sure the movers get everyones stuff to their new desks properly. yes, even though they are 'professional' movers, they are monkeys and fuck shit up all the time. so, yay for saturday.

been planning more of my trip to europe, but man, i seem to have no time.
im hoping once this big move is done with, i can focus some more.
i keep getting asked if im getting excited to go, and i am, but not like i think i should be.
i have no time! and that sucks... but its 4 weeks today! oh man..

been hitting the gym the last few days, and that is feeling pretty good.
im also not drinking for january. i started to get out of control towards the end of last year, and i need to dry out a bit.
along with that, im trying to cut back on my dairy, sugar and salt intake, though i failed miserabley with that last night, as my friend Jen came over and we snacked alot.
ah well, sometimes its needed to lift heavy spirits, right?

so far this years blogging has been devoid of pictures.
and that is going to continue into todays.. i dont have many pictures to share right now.
ill try find some from over the christmas break.

until then, have a great day! im off to work...
at least there is paid overtime...

jan 7

time flies when youre stressed to the max.
this first week back at work has been hell, as im sure it is for many people.

the last two days of my vacation were nice and relaxing.
i only got out of my pyjamas to go and see sherlock holmes.
sunday i didnt even leave the house. infact, that was the day that it occured to me that i could really get used to rolling out bed when i felt like it and just sitting around all day figuring out what to do.
in other words, i could be on vacation all the time.
now to figure out how to get paid to do that...

first day back at work was slow, as most of the studio wasnt in until tuesday, but come tuesday, man oh man. what a shit show.
i have to move my team down a floor and the logistics that go into planning are definitely enough to give me grey hair. or at least get me to drink this month. yeesh.
im not sleeping well because of it, but only two more days and its done.
i think that the worst of it ended yesterday. i *think*....

ill be in at work on saturday as well, to make sure the move goes smoothly.
yay? not.. the only good thing about that is that i get paid overtime and that i have no excuse to not go to the gym that day as well..

im also really stressed about my job in general.
i feel very stuck right now, and unappreciated in the way that i can do so much for and i feel that no one takes me seriously.
i know i am greatly appreciated for what i do do for them, so i cant say that im ignored.
for the most part they have been good to me, but i want to do more, and im frustrated beyond belief at being told to 'keep doing the great job' im doing, and in SIX MONTHS they'll do a reassessment of cost of living and the like.
ive been doing this 'great job' for two years now, and no raise.
what on earth is my motivation really, to keep doing it.. for the promise that they will look into it? but no promise of any changes??
i want out. i love the team so much, but i want out.
boo.

and on that happy skippy note, im going to head to work and hit the gym.

its jan 7 today, and on feb 7 ill be landing in copenhagen.
holy crap, i simply cannot wait..

jan 1

well, today was of no particular note, but a decent day none-the-less.

i wasnt hung over, but was so exhausted from the last two late nights out that i was basically useless all day anyways.
naps were had, season one of deadwood was watched, the dark knight played in the background for a bit (in fact, i think i still have it paused and need to watch the end) (heath ledger was brilliant in it btw), and i even did some pvp in wow.
yep, big day.

oh, and i went to see sherlock holmes with euvie and her bf and their friend.
i was told the movie was 'ok' but i thought it was great and thoroughly enjoyed it.
i do like robert downy jr. i recomment seeing it, or at the very least, renting it.

connected with sam today too! planning an excursion to milan when i am over in denmark in feb.
the tattoo convetion will be going on, and we are going to meet up (and actually meet as well) and adventure/get lost in milan! fun times to be had my dear!!
(and you can ask amalie and allan, i am not a murderer. unless they think i am. which would be troubling... )

so my trip is roughly going to look something like this:

feb 7 - arrive in copenhagen
feb 11/12 - fly to milan
feb 15 - fly to stockholm
feb 17 - fly back to copenhagen
mar 1 - fly to amsterdam
mar 6 - back to good ol canada

belgium will happen sometime in the holland portion, just dont know when.

exciting times, non?
just have to book some flights and hostels and get that ball moving!

5 weeks!!

2010

lets see how this goes.. with the new year and all...

2009 was a crap year for me. sure good things happened, but some bad shit happened too, and those things seem to crowd my memories, so out with it.

if i want to believe in karma, then maybe i brought it all on myself. what lesson did i need to learn this past year? and did i pay enough attention to learn it? here's hoping.

i lost friends, lost respect for other friends, was used and abused (not physically, thank goodness), lied to and cheated.

i also met new great people, had life turn around a few times, yes for the better, and learned alot. about life and myself and where my place in the world might be. even if it was only a hint.

all in all, however, im excited to see the new year in.

i spent it in a fashion i have never done, which was to go to a party with a few people i work with, whom i never spend any time with, and meet their friends and significant others. new friendships were formed and i couldnt be happier about it. i had thought about relocating later in the night, but when the time came, i was happy where i was, and that was enough for me.

so here's to a year of doing what makes you happy. whatever that may be.
i know im going to do my best this year to figure out what that is.
ive tried before to be more selfish and look out for myself, but i still go back to putting too much dependancy on others.
no one will look out for my best interests more than myself. i know this, now its time to put it into practice.

happy new years everyone. whatever that means to you.
i hope you make it a good one.

arg

yep. the cat isnt working.
we are way too different to live together.
he is far far too needy. and not that that is a bad thing, its just too needy for me.
he needs to be in a home where someone is home all the time and wants to be smothered in kitty love. i am not that person.
when i get home, i want to relax on my own a bit, and not have a kitty stuck to me, licking my toes, and mewing at me.
/sigh
i feel bad, i do, and im not sure where to go from here.
i let his previous owner know that its not working, and that id try to give it a bit more time, but that i really think he needs to be in a different home where he can get all of the love and attention that he needs/craves.

oh, and on a side note, and not a pleasant one, he puked on my couch last night.
not really helping his case much.

ugh. boo. happy sunday?

meet blu

alright, meet blu.
ill write more about him later.
right now its 620 am and he wont shut up and its really annoying.
we have a special relationship....


ill also work on my background later.. some more html editing is in order and i dont feel like figuring it out right now..

no bloggin

so i guess i dont have much to say
or much time to say it

i look at other peoples blogs and i dont think that i have so much interesting things to say or events to share.
facebook seems to cover most of my social life...
this was supposed to be somewhere that i could yap about my feelings and stuff that i was too 'embarrassed' to share publicly, but its just turned into a self pity whine fest.

maybe ill write more soon?
who knows..
for right now, it looks like blogger has given up hope on me...

ill see what i can do
life has just been so crazy that i dont even read anyone elses blogs anymore (sorry!!)

thats all i got.

oh, i got a cat.
more on that later?
maybe i can turn this into his blog...

whats new?

well, i sold my bike. right away too, so that was awesome.

trying to sell the couches now. might take less than im asking on them to get them out.

i am thinking now that i might not take a trip at all and just move to a better apartment.
i was going to tough it out here til january, then give it up and put my stuff in storage and go away for 2 months. i could couch surf when i got back and find a new place then.
one that i would spend more money on but feel a bit more settled in.
right now i feel like this is not somewhere that i can 'be'. i feel very.. immature in here, if that makes sense. its not very grown up.

almost makes me wish i hadnt left my last place, but i needed the change. i did.
its just frustrating.

went on a date last night with a boy that i have a crush on.
im not sure if he was totally aware that it was a date though, or if he just thought we were hanging out as friends. dinner and a movie. come on.
but i am going to go with my friend holly's advice, and hang out with him a few more times, just us. she says that after about 4 hang outs, if there isnt anything sparking, then its just friends.
he is very friendly and fun, but i suspect he may not know how to deal with dates and such so much, so maybe thats it. or maybe, just maybe, i have another friend.
time will tell.

still feeling in my funk but at least being active about it.
hung pictures up last week, so that it feels a bit better and lived in in here.
got my magnets up on the fridge too.
today i need to clean stuff and go through my boxes again and try to condense some more.
and laundry. damn that laundry...

i would also love to go shopping for a new pair of jeans, but maybe i can do that on the weekend... hmmmmm.......

the way it goes

*shakes fist at this murphy person*

why is it that the people you want to hit on you, dont.
and the ones you dont, do?

a guy at work, who is a friend and doesnt stand a chance to become more than that (and not cause he isnt a great guy he just totally isnt for me), sent me a message today that i looked really cute.
im pretty sure he has a crush on me, but doesnt push it cause we are friends.
and i want it to stay that way.

but there ARE boys at work that i wouldnt be opposed to receiving messages like this from.

ah well, such is life.

i listed my motorcycle on craiglist last night, and now have to deal with calls and emails to try and get it out of my hands. i better go downstairs and make sure that it starts up fine now...

if it doesnt, i might just light it on fire when it sits...