arg

yep. the cat isnt working.
we are way too different to live together.
he is far far too needy. and not that that is a bad thing, its just too needy for me.
he needs to be in a home where someone is home all the time and wants to be smothered in kitty love. i am not that person.
when i get home, i want to relax on my own a bit, and not have a kitty stuck to me, licking my toes, and mewing at me.
/sigh
i feel bad, i do, and im not sure where to go from here.
i let his previous owner know that its not working, and that id try to give it a bit more time, but that i really think he needs to be in a different home where he can get all of the love and attention that he needs/craves.

oh, and on a side note, and not a pleasant one, he puked on my couch last night.
not really helping his case much.

ugh. boo. happy sunday?

meet blu

alright, meet blu.
ill write more about him later.
right now its 620 am and he wont shut up and its really annoying.
we have a special relationship....


ill also work on my background later.. some more html editing is in order and i dont feel like figuring it out right now..

no bloggin

so i guess i dont have much to say
or much time to say it

i look at other peoples blogs and i dont think that i have so much interesting things to say or events to share.
facebook seems to cover most of my social life...
this was supposed to be somewhere that i could yap about my feelings and stuff that i was too 'embarrassed' to share publicly, but its just turned into a self pity whine fest.

maybe ill write more soon?
who knows..
for right now, it looks like blogger has given up hope on me...

ill see what i can do
life has just been so crazy that i dont even read anyone elses blogs anymore (sorry!!)

thats all i got.

oh, i got a cat.
more on that later?
maybe i can turn this into his blog...

whats new?

well, i sold my bike. right away too, so that was awesome.

trying to sell the couches now. might take less than im asking on them to get them out.

i am thinking now that i might not take a trip at all and just move to a better apartment.
i was going to tough it out here til january, then give it up and put my stuff in storage and go away for 2 months. i could couch surf when i got back and find a new place then.
one that i would spend more money on but feel a bit more settled in.
right now i feel like this is not somewhere that i can 'be'. i feel very.. immature in here, if that makes sense. its not very grown up.

almost makes me wish i hadnt left my last place, but i needed the change. i did.
its just frustrating.

went on a date last night with a boy that i have a crush on.
im not sure if he was totally aware that it was a date though, or if he just thought we were hanging out as friends. dinner and a movie. come on.
but i am going to go with my friend holly's advice, and hang out with him a few more times, just us. she says that after about 4 hang outs, if there isnt anything sparking, then its just friends.
he is very friendly and fun, but i suspect he may not know how to deal with dates and such so much, so maybe thats it. or maybe, just maybe, i have another friend.
time will tell.

still feeling in my funk but at least being active about it.
hung pictures up last week, so that it feels a bit better and lived in in here.
got my magnets up on the fridge too.
today i need to clean stuff and go through my boxes again and try to condense some more.
and laundry. damn that laundry...

i would also love to go shopping for a new pair of jeans, but maybe i can do that on the weekend... hmmmmm.......

the way it goes

*shakes fist at this murphy person*

why is it that the people you want to hit on you, dont.
and the ones you dont, do?

a guy at work, who is a friend and doesnt stand a chance to become more than that (and not cause he isnt a great guy he just totally isnt for me), sent me a message today that i looked really cute.
im pretty sure he has a crush on me, but doesnt push it cause we are friends.
and i want it to stay that way.

but there ARE boys at work that i wouldnt be opposed to receiving messages like this from.

ah well, such is life.

i listed my motorcycle on craiglist last night, and now have to deal with calls and emails to try and get it out of my hands. i better go downstairs and make sure that it starts up fine now...

if it doesnt, i might just light it on fire when it sits...

why do i drink again?

well, mostly a waste of a weekend..

had a good friday out with guys from work.
got very drunk but got to hang out more with one of my favourites.
if i could find him, but without a girlfriend, it would be super.
as it is, he is just a good friend.

le sigh.

saturday i stayed in bed til about 6 pm basically cause i was so friggin hung over.
why do i mix my booze?
i dont have a good reason for this.

saturday night was a fondue party at adams house!
cheese, oil AND chocolate. oh boy.
so much food and beatles rock band!!

today i slept in lots as well, but then went out and met peter for breakfast.
we walked down to taryn and syx's to see the photo display of syx's work and a visit.
i then stopped at sarahs and went through some old clothes of hers and got 4 for myself.
yay new/old stuff!
i then came home and hung stuff up on the walls so it can feel more like home.

i also got all my magnets on the fridge!

just have to figure out the best way to get allans prints up now.

ive also decided that i will give up this place when i take my trip.
put everything in storage as ill be gone for 7 weeks, and then find a place when i get back.
why pay rent for 2 months when im not here?

we'll see how that all pans out...

so much food. i love fondue!

doot doot doot

well my day was a bit better.
productive one might say. stressful, others might..

i may have had more to say, but i started drinking when i was home from laundry.
so now im a little.. drunk.
gin and juice!

i cant wait for this week to be done.

some inspiring conversations from todays public


~in grocery store~
me: i dont need a bag thanks.
checkout girl: you have your own?

... no im going to carry all this in my hands...
(it was more than an armful)



~in laundromat, taking clothes out of big side loading dryer~
*lights go out*
me:ummm, can you turn the lights back on so i can get my stuff out of the dryer?
laundromat guy: we're closed


... yeah i gathered that... but i want to get my shit....


honestly people!!!

give credit where credit is due

today started out good, but then got bad at the end.

im tired of busting my ass for a company that seems to only be able to give verbal acknowledgement.
dont get me wrong, i do enjoy actually hearing that my work is appreciated, and its nice that some people are willing to vocalize that, but i cant pay off my debt with praises.
ive been at the company for over a year and a half, worked my ass off, and no sign of a raise or extra time off or anything.
i am the one that has to go out and buy all the gifts and rewards for people that work hard, so i see what everyone gets.
and no, im not being jealous or greedy. i dont need to be matched. but i would like is some fairness.
these guys get paid heaps more than i do, and yet, they go for the lunches at nice places on the company card, and take weeks off at a time, and get all these kick backs, and i get paid over time.

oh, they are making it so i never have to work over time anymore, so there goes that perk.

i had someone have a big fit today and try to tell my manager that i dont do my job, because two things fell through the cracks. of the hundreds that i do every week!
its only because this person doesnt work close by me to see what i do, so they only know what they make up in their head i guess.
this person also made a show about a month ago about wanting to get to know me more cause we dont get to work close together.
guess what, this isnt the way to do it.

instead, this has further crushed my spirit.
made me that much more despondent to what is going on at work.

trouble is, am i running away from my problems?
is a fresh start really that, or is it hiding?

i am becoming more and more introspective the further this goes.
and depressed. there is a little of that going on.
maybe more than a little.
but when is the corey time?
i dont even know.

i was at work for 12 hours today, and i bet it doesnt make a lick of difference to this person.

i should add that my manager does know how hard i work and is backing me under this attack and is trying to difuse this person. but that doesnt make it hurt any less.

i dont want to be under-apprecaited anymore.


welcome to my emo blog.

monday-ne

today wasnt a monday-ish as it could have been.
i think work can get better with sarah helping out.
she is so great and im so happy to have her as part of the team.

i still love my job, but my spirit is broken.
maybe that can get better?

good news for the day: i have heat!
glorious glorious heat.
*inside* my apartment no less.

now i just need my arm to stop being all tight and itchy and hurty.
i may have to drug myself to sleep tonight, otherwise ill be up all night when i move my arm.
(did i mention i had a crap sleep last night? well i did)

its after 10 pm
normally id be going to bed now cause i have a circuit training (read:torture) class at 730 in the morning on tues and thurs, but with my arm in healy mode, im skipping it tomorrow.
i should go to bed soon though anyways.
after i dry my hair.

the dishes can wait until tomorrow.

from PAX in seattle a few weeks ago
graham/mario, the amazing wil wheaton and yours truly

yep

its been a month since that last post.
or at least i think it has been.

i cant figure out why the date doesnt show up.
every setting i look at seems to point towards it being there.
suggestions?

work is crazy.
im burnt out.
im not happy.

planning a big trip for feb to miss the olympics here.
how big.. that is the question...

i was almost hit by a lady today who didnt fully stop at a stop sign.
i actually had to jump to my right so she didnt hit me on the left.
the she shook her head at me.
i yelled.
i wish i had yelled more or gotten her to answer more for her neglect of pedestrian safety.

my kitchen faucet drips, and its right behind me.
haaaaaaaaaaaate that sound.
ive asked to have it fixed. lord knows when that will be.
i also got them to turn the heat on in the building today, cause its freakin freezing in here.
i dont know how much good it will do.
this place is fine for now, but not forever. i dont like it *that* much..

my arm is almost done too, so that is at least some good news?
one more sit to finish up my shoulder.

and now, i leave you with me at lost lake in whistler last weekend.